Hi hfire, You are in the right place. Most of us don't find this place until we are further along in our grief. I think I was at 2 or 2 1/2 months before I realized that I would die if I didn't do something. Yes, it can get that bad. Right now, you are just in shock, and thank God that will last for a time -- actually alot of what you will go through is protection from extreme trauma. But you will make it. We all will. I've had it much easier, not having small children to raise while suffering my loss. But many here are also raising kids, and ask away -- everyone is here to help each other through this. We understand what you are going through, we've been there. Read lots of these posts, go back, read to educate yourself. And remember that there is nothing you will go through that is not normal. Grieving the loss of your spouse is the most absolutely abnormal normal thing you will ever experience, and it is also the hardest. Right now, take it minute by minute, sleep as much as possible, remember to eat, drink lots of fluids -- take advantage of any and all offers of help if you are fortunate enough to get any. I am sorry for your loss. You will make lots of friends here, most are women. But if you want a guy friend, I'm here for you. May God bless and comfort you and your children. ~~ Scott

Thank You Scott. Our youngest only turned 13on the 11th of January then he lost his mother on the 24th. I know I have to be here for them and still find a way to grieve myself. They return to school Monday and I have to return to work. Personally I think it is too early but I have to support the kids and that is only done with a paycheck.

I used to be a very quiet self supported person until Meredith changed me. Now I know I have to be open but God these emotions suck. I hear a song and I flat out lose it. So dealing with customers in a retail environment just does not sound good right now.

Sorry rambling again

God bless you Hfire,,,I don't like to say welcome because this is a place you never expected to be but I assure you are in the right place. I found it like Scottie around 3 months into my grief, I am going on 10 months. You will be a roller coaster for a while, just ride it and know you are not going crazy as it is normal. Most people on this site do not know that I was widowed the first time, many years ago with an infant and a 6 year old..Years later I met my recent husband and married 25 years. God was good to me considering what I also went thru with two young children. I remember that well too..Keep reading and post when you need to pour your heart out,,,we're listening.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife of 27 years to cancer. She passes a few months after diagnosis. It was so sudden that everything didn't seem to change but all do. We didn't have children and we had just moved to a foreign country (Hong Kong). I had essentially nothing but myself. At this point, make sure you take care of yourself---try to eat and sleep well. You will find that your children are a great source of comfort and strength. In many ways, I find my wife really didn't leave me. She has become part of me. Over time, you will find the same---you will do things she used to do, for your children. It is not just you who do it. It is she who is in you that does that too. She and you are the one. Nothing can take her away from you anymore, not even cancer or death. Come here often. People in this website are great source of comfort and understanding. You will find that sharing is healing. Hugs, Tiger

Oh love. I'm so sorry for the recent loss of your wife and sorry that you find yourself in this group but this is where you will find support and understanding. It's nearly two years since my husband died from cancer and as ridiculous as it sounds, I miss all the hospital visits and horrible treatments that we went through when he was sick. We became closer during his 16 months of treatment for pancreatic cancer than we had ever been during our 32 years of being married. Be kind to yourself darling, you will survive this. Gentle hugs. Gail xx

I am so sorry for your loss. My wife also passed at 40 years old, it's been just over 20 weeks. I hear it gets better but am still a shattered man. You found the right place, the people here at ds are so great. Along with this site, I am trying some therapists and trying to find an outlet. We had no children but the furry kind, the dogs and cats are helping me get up on the mornings and keeping going. I do wish you and the kids the best, please take care.

I just recently lost my husband to brain cancer on January 5th. We were married for 10 years and have a beautiful son who will turn 5 next week. My husband was 43 years old and I'm only 35. I find myself losing it often around my son who gently replies, "it's going to be okay, Mom." Then I cry harder. I understand the mud and the fog. It's thick. I just joined this group tonight because I'm finding it difficult to talk with others who haven't been in this situation before. I'm young and never wanted to be a single Mom. This wasn't the life I planned. I wanted to grow old with Scott, not watch him wither away. I've grieved over him for 5 years from his first diagnosis of a grade 2 brain tumor. He was never the same from that point forward. And the last year I grieved so hard that I lost myself. He was diagnosed with a grade 4 Glioblastoma three days before Christmas of 2014. I had anxiety attacks that came out of nowhere. It was a scary year but it was the closest we had ever been. I'm thankful for that time that we had and yet I want to go back and do it all over again. I saw where someone said they missed the doctor's appointments. I totally get that. I hope we can all help each other get through our heavy losses.

I am glad you found us, because we are all in various stages of our loss. I had my husband for 40 years of marriage and our children were adults living on their own when lung cancer stole him from us. He was 60 years old and we had many retirement plans. Oh, I was so hurt and angry that all our plans were lost. The beginning of this journey was very hard and quite unbelievable. It's a day at a time and sometimes moment by moment. You are with others who truly understand. Sharon

Dear Hfire,I'm so sorry your sweet wife passted away My husband passed away in a freak accident, I am 45 and I have two daughters. He was my bestfriend. As time goes on, it wont get easier, you will just learn to accept the fact that they can't be here with us physically. Take your time, see if your work may have a bereavement leave of absense. Or look to see about getting into a grief share program For almost 7 months, I was completely numb. Like scott said, we are all hear for eahother through thick and thin. There is no good or bad answer, nor a right or wrong way to grieve, You just do you. You also don't have to be strong for the kids, it;s healthy for them to see you cry, believe it or not, they are grieving too, and sometimes, people say the stupidest things to kids, like; be strong for your dad/ mom, etc. wrong thing to say in my opinion. So let yourself , 'feel' Much love and big hugs carla

So very sorry for your loss.
In March it will be 5 yrs since I lost my husband to septis because dr error in treatment. We were married 38 yrs. 2 children grown.it does get easier and really it is all so fresh for you and your children. Make sure you talk to your children often if not daily about their Mom. It will help you and them. My children talked alot to me we still do.
Maybe contact your funneral home about grief counseling for the children and for yourself. We didn't for the grandchildren and now are seeking it they have anxiety/depression.
You will eventually get into a new routine around the house. I still talk to Ken even if someone is here give him heck over something I can't find. I laugh about it now you will get there eventually. As hard as going back to work and the children school its really for the best.
I found this place about a week after Ken passed. It is a fantastic place with fantastic very helpful people who all have one thing in common. We all lost the loves of our lives.
Hugs
Lois

I am so very sorry for your loss. The shock is protecting you now, just know that it does get better, little by little. Please take care of you, it's so important you get as much rest as possible and good nutrition. Come here as often as you like. We all understand what you are going through. Hugs and Love, Michele

I too, am so sorry for you and your families loss. I can't imagine how hard it is for you all. With kids that age, that need their mother. But God will see you through. Let the people that offer to help, help you. You and the children need that.
I am at 3 years. I have had to deal with everything alone. Without the friends here at DS I never would have made it. Reach out, whenever you need to. Drink plenty of liquids, to keep you from dehydrating, eat what and when you can. This takes a toll on your health.
Bless you all, as you walk through this, together. Sandee