Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

We've just gotta go through it.

thirtydaysofmorning
thirtydaysofmorning

I've been a widower for 9 months and a day... and it has been the single most horrendous experience I have gone through... as I'm sure you all are aware.  It is a life full of firsts, full of questions, full of challenges that we have to confront every day.  Learning how to keep on living in the shadow of death is a challenge that came unexpectedly at an age and time my wife and I thought we had decades ahead of us.  I haven't really talked to anyone professional about this experience, just friends and family.  I also started a blog... which is funny because I'm not a computer guy, but it has helped me reflect... it has helped me document so that I won't forget what it is I am going through.  I've realized we all cope differently and we all have to find OUR way to keep moving forward in life because the clock won't stop ticking.  We all have stories and I just wanted to share mine with you in the hopes that maybe if you see how I'm coping... maybe it will help you get through your day.  thirtydaysofmorning.com is just me trying to figure out how to live this new life.  I don't make money off of it or anything, it's just me sharing what this widower is going through. Keep your head up... even if your crying.

Myfavorite
Myfavorite
I enjoyed reading your blog. I vent here in my journal. As men, we have this expectation of being strong, but when our worlds collapse, we search for something, anything to ease the pain. I really enjoyed it when you said that you'd still rather hang with your wife and that she was cooler than the rest. I feel that. I'm also letting my beard go. 7 months in and the struggle is real brother. Take care.
thirtydaysofmorning
thirtydaysofmorning
Thank you. I was lucky and from the onset of this experience I knew what was important... being there for Kateri. Strength is not caring about people seeing you cry at work, at a coffee shop, or grocery store. If someone has an issue with me being emotional about losing Kateri, they’ve got problems. I think as a widower... strength is shown by us everyday as we just try to figure this shit out.
jo97
jo97
I'm sorry for your loss,it's been 8 months for me and been trying to figure this one out and come up with nothing except it was her time instead of mind. Couples do not last for ever and was not prepared that it could come at anytime,not that it would have helped. The best solution for me would be to close my eyes and never wake up so I can be with her but I guess that's not going to happen. Mean while I to will try to figure why we have go thru this and wait for my turn.
sancan
sancan
It’s nine months for me, I may not cry everyday anymore, but my heart still aches..
When he died a part of me went with him.
We had so much life ahead of us,, now at 64 trying to find a new life alone is different. May time heal us all ..
DJC
DJC
Its heart warming to hear the men speak. I was reminded gently to not forget about the widowers and it was like a breeze blowing some clarity my way. Glad I had my coat pulled. We women tend to think men just move on I get from your post you stumble through the fog too. Kindness and emotion in a man is a great thing. I'm glad you found your way to this site and shared. My husband was a tough man outside but in our house he was soft as a teddy bear. Had I gone first I don't think he would have made it. I don't think he would have shared or gotten out all his feelings. I was where he could be vulnerable. He was that for me too. I wish us all peace. I pray more people come into our lives that bring us clarity in this journey.
StormyTexas
StormyTexas
Where is this blog? It sounds good.
thirtydaysofmorning
thirtydaysofmorning
Hola! The blog is thirtydaysofmorning.com. It’s really just me trying to figure out this widower thing. When I lost my wife, I felt like I didn’t have anything except for this experience... so I’m just trying to share what it is I’m going through so hopefully other people will see that if I’m still able to survive through this... maybe it’ll help them get through whatever it is they are coping with. I hope you have a good day!