Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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FM0528 02/02/2014

I want to find something I can have on me all the time that is for my boyfriend. I know most of you have things such as wedding or engagement rings, a special necklace they gave you, etc. Brad and I were never engaged and we didn't ever really buy each other gifts on holidays or birthdays. We've struggled financially on and off over the years and always put buying for the children number one on our list. If we did buy each other anything it was something practical. The only thing I have been able to come up with so far that I like is a ring with his birthstone. I can't decide if this idea is ridiculous or not. The only thing I really wear all the time are my rings. I change out my necklaces and don't really wear bracelets. I guess I'm most curious to hear if anyone has done anything like this and what it was you did.

Comfortablynumb 02/02/2014

I planted tree in his honor.

darjar0 02/02/2014

I like your idea. Something you know he would have bought you if he'd had the money. :)
Michael was very proud of his container garden...fruits and veggies planted in Totes in the yard. I will be honoring him this summer by planting my own container garden

tlsom 02/02/2014

I like your idea...they also make rings with people's names....you could do that maybe. I think it is great you want to do something.

LostAndFeelingAlone 02/02/2014

I like your idea of a birthstone.

I also like the idea of donating money to have something that gets named in his honor. A tree, flower, plaque, etc. It will last for a life time. A way of people remembering him forever.

birder89 02/02/2014

My 2 daughters and I set up a memorial scholarship in my husband's name at the local college where he taught. We wanted to honor his passion for education and the scholarship will help students in need for many years to come. :)

athankfulone 02/02/2014

We have two friends who set up endowments...one at a university music department and one with his favorite charity. Our neighbors are pitching in to have the city put in a memorial bench in our little neighborhood park.

There are a lot of things that don't cost money. In our area, the electric company gives free trees for summer shade. I put in two for him. And I am starting to train as a docent to work at our zoo...one of his favorite places just to hang out. Lots of things you can do in his honor.

kynessie 02/02/2014

I had a quilt made with my husband's ties. It's on display in my living room in a quilt case. I look at it every day.

Nessie from KY

FM0528 02/02/2014

These are all such wonderful ideas. Thank you all for sharing. I am sending a lot of his shirts to his sister-in-law who is going to have them made into a quilt for his daughter. And my grandmother is making one of his button down shirts into a sleep shirt/nightgown for her as well. But I think I will look into some of the other ideas such as a tree or garden. He loved being outdoors. Thank you all again for sharing.

castlenana 02/02/2014

I like the ring idea, and planting a tree. I am doing the same thing when the time comes. I need to burn a pile of brush and I'm starting a rose garden with a cherry tree in the middle. I also have his ashes. It may be morbid, or at least I thought so before, but now I know he is here. Even when they go in the rose garden, it will be Bob's garden. I do think the ring sounds like the most feasible thing for you.

deleted_user 02/02/2014

I haven't yet because of financial reasons. My babe was so proud of the wedding ring he gave me. Since his passing the ring just doesn't feel the same on my finger. Ive decided I am going to get a rose and the letter R on my ring finger to replace my ring this way he will still be on me forever. Not a big tattoo but something I can see forever.

handg 02/03/2014

Besides sewing blankets with his clothes, wearing his wedding band on a chain and still wearing my own wedding rings, I have had a tattoo of a guardian angel done with his date of birth and date of death as well as his initials(monogram) done on the inside of my left wrist where I can see it and where it connects with the vain going to my heart. I also had some necklaces made that have a picture of him engraved on them. Dog tag style for our son, heart shape for our daughter, his sister and his mom. My necklace has the engraving of our last picture taken together... There is also a memorial bench at his place of resting...

deleted_user 02/03/2014

I have a thumbprint teardrop that my children had the funeral home make. I wear it around my neck.

Squeege 02/03/2014

i have her engagement ring and 4 tattoo's-

a small tattoo somewhere you can see would be good i reckon, it can be anything

Sadfire 02/03/2014

Besides using my wedding ring, I also wear his wedding band next to mine. I also wear his first neckless I gave him before our wedding. And I also carry his drivers licence in my purse. He never left home without it so I carry it with me. I feel him close to me in some way by doing so. My daughter also wears her last neckless her daddy gave her and my son lights up a white tea candle everyday for his daddy soul.

asarivg12 02/03/2014

I think all those ideas are sweet reminders. When my daughter died I bought a religious symbol of my religion and wear that on a gold rope necklace ( lol, it's a small chain, not like a rapper ). I've worn that necklace for almost 18 years now, and never taken it off.

I also use a form of her name as my password at work, so I type it every morning at work.

I said this months ago, but every year on her birthday we perform a charitable act in her memory. These last few years we have collected toys and money to donate to a local children's hospital in her name. We even got the grandkids to participate because we take them shopping to Toys R Us and they pick out the toys we donate :)

Yeah, we loved that girl :)

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