Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I went to the cemetery today, and is still so hard to try to stand at his grave and not weep.
After three weeks I try not to linger there too much and get used to spend some time there, as I'm going back to my home country in about a month and I won't be able to visit his grave.
My fiancee was born in Germany and despite having lived most of his life in Portugal where we also met, he came back here to persue better treatments in the hopes of getting cured. And so it was that I came to join him and here he died and was burried.
But despite that this is not my home, I hate having to leave him behind but at the same time he always used to say that I didn't had a future here, I'm to attached to my family, my mother and grandparents who are also sick and needing me. And he knew I would be better with my loved ones, friends and family. The one person I had in this country was him and now he is GONE!!!
After three weeks I try not to linger there too much and get used to spend some time there, as I'm going back to my home country in about a month and I won't be able to visit his grave.
My fiancee was born in Germany and despite having lived most of his life in Portugal where we also met, he came back here to persue better treatments in the hopes of getting cured. And so it was that I came to join him and here he died and was burried.
But despite that this is not my home, I hate having to leave him behind but at the same time he always used to say that I didn't had a future here, I'm to attached to my family, my mother and grandparents who are also sick and needing me. And he knew I would be better with my loved ones, friends and family. The one person I had in this country was him and now he is GONE!!!
Going back to your home country will hopefully have some small joys, at least you will be able to see your family again. I plan on spending the holidays with my family too. they comfort us in bereavement, as they stand with us throughout whole lives.
Remember, even though you are separate from his grave in your home country, he is still with you and still loves you very much. It can help to make a grief altar with photos of your fianc to burn candles in front of and meditate at when you are down.
I will say in different words what the others have said. Your beloved is in a different existence now. I'm not sure what country you're in now, or which one you're going to, but perhaps that doesn't matter. In a way, perhaps your fiancee will be no farther away from you there than he is now?
It might help if you bring with you some significant item. Could be an article of clothing, or a letter or card, or a picture. You're probably doing that anyway. The pain will still be there, but it might be a bit less.