Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
just as we were talking about finding out who are true friends are and those folks who compare divorce and widowhood as one. I heard tonight from the person that caused me to vent here shortly into my widowhood. The phone call was about 40 minutes ago, but it will be in my head all night if I don't get it out here - only you folks will understand. I'm not looking for advise just as safe place to vent.
WHen you all to ask me how I made out over the holidays, please do not fill the converstaion about all of your drama. How you car has no heat, I was feeling badly for her because the weather has turned colder in the past few days and from the way she was talking I thought this would be a long term situation due to finances - she proceeds to tell me how she has to layer up every morning before work and then stop for a coffee and how she doesn't know what she will do when the snow starts to fly and then says her dealer is just waiting for the part to come in! Please... so you have driven two days in winter temps - geez I feel for you. How about the 2 New England winters I did it because we didn't have the money to get my heater fixed because my husband was out of work so much due to health reasons! or how about the conversation about how hard it is to get up early morning to feed the animals (5 cats, a dog, and a lizard) that all belong to your ADULT daughter - so sad, can you see my crocodile tears - oh yes and lets not forget about the maintence med you have to give you dog (just out of puppyhood) while you know I am watching my elderly dog waste away and hobble with crippling arthritis (for you dog lovers in the group, the vet and I are working closely to make sure she as comfortable as possible and it is not her time yet, she is not suffering, but she is very friagle, but still enjoying life), my husband and I had no children and when she goes I will lose my last initimate living like to him - and she knows all this. Ok, my vent is out, yes I know she means well and is doing the best she can, and honestly she is a warm hearted /generous person just clueless sometimes. She is not a friendship that I want to lose, but the nature of our friendship has changed since Ron passed. I know I was there for her when she got divorced and fell apart and the loyalty has not been returned. It doesn't mean that I don't value her friendship just that I need to set new boundaries with her. Thanks for listening - I feel better now and at least this will not invade my sleep.
WHen you all to ask me how I made out over the holidays, please do not fill the converstaion about all of your drama. How you car has no heat, I was feeling badly for her because the weather has turned colder in the past few days and from the way she was talking I thought this would be a long term situation due to finances - she proceeds to tell me how she has to layer up every morning before work and then stop for a coffee and how she doesn't know what she will do when the snow starts to fly and then says her dealer is just waiting for the part to come in! Please... so you have driven two days in winter temps - geez I feel for you. How about the 2 New England winters I did it because we didn't have the money to get my heater fixed because my husband was out of work so much due to health reasons! or how about the conversation about how hard it is to get up early morning to feed the animals (5 cats, a dog, and a lizard) that all belong to your ADULT daughter - so sad, can you see my crocodile tears - oh yes and lets not forget about the maintence med you have to give you dog (just out of puppyhood) while you know I am watching my elderly dog waste away and hobble with crippling arthritis (for you dog lovers in the group, the vet and I are working closely to make sure she as comfortable as possible and it is not her time yet, she is not suffering, but she is very friagle, but still enjoying life), my husband and I had no children and when she goes I will lose my last initimate living like to him - and she knows all this. Ok, my vent is out, yes I know she means well and is doing the best she can, and honestly she is a warm hearted /generous person just clueless sometimes. She is not a friendship that I want to lose, but the nature of our friendship has changed since Ron passed. I know I was there for her when she got divorced and fell apart and the loyalty has not been returned. It doesn't mean that I don't value her friendship just that I need to set new boundaries with her. Thanks for listening - I feel better now and at least this will not invade my sleep.
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Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...
Amy did not approve of me losing my temper especially for petty things and I could hear her in my ear just saying "Peter!"
I just shrugged it off and continues on my way and kind of had a smile on my face that I did not let this petty asshole get into my head.
I guess my point is for me these days I try not to sweat the small things and to have more control of my emotions when the big shit hits the fan.
I hope you have your precious pup for as long as possible and also that you got a good nights sleep. ~Pete
Losing my man has taught me a lot;
I can be a rock if I need to be,
I can hang up on someone who's hurting me with their words,
I can dismiss ugly comments made by thoughtless people and
I have the right to be happy, calm and even withdrawn if I feel like it!
Here's to sleeping well and healthy fur-babies.
Roz
I to journal and I think that helps with the venting.
Hugs, Sandi
I no longer " sweat the small things ". I have just had the most devastating thing possible happen in my life a little over four months ago and the usual drama of daily life of those around me no longer interest me.
I don't have the energy to be angry at anyone. I refuse to be angry with anyone that has no true interest in knowing why I don't have a smile on my face. They know but they just don't want to hear about it. That's OK. Many of them have spouses and they have absolutely no idea of what awaits them. That is not a statement of wishing ill on anyone. Truly, I am hopeful I shall be more understanding and charitable than they are at present.
Darrell .