Sandi don't get discouraged. It has been almost two years since I began this journey. I like to think that grieving is like walking along the beach in the waves, every once in awhile a big one comes in from nowhere and sweeps you off your feet.
I still have times like that, I allow myself the crying time and then I try and think of a happy memory, which also can be painful because our husbands are gone forever, but I am greatful for the time I had with him. Hugs to you for a better day

I have learned to hate the words forever and never. He's gone forever and I will never hear his voice or see him again on this earth. Those two words kept me in tears for weeks. I had to start thinking differently. I'm at nine months and still cry daily...yesterday it was a song that brought the tears. Some days its a smell or seeing someone in the distance that looks like him or a voice that reminds me of his. A picture, so many things. I just cry...I cry a lot, but, I feel better afterwards. This morning its the words "because are husbands are gone forever." I pray that all of us have a better day and know that there are better days ahead.....hugs to all.

Sandi - You posted just the other day about going to the Demo Derby and listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd songs and how much they meant to you and your Tim. I remember because you followed-up that you later ate a half-bag of potato chips and that comment made me smile. And I really needed to smile that day! I hope you'll be extra gentle with yourself for awhile. That demo derby experience may have made many emotions rise to the surface. Karen

Karen you are so wise I agree with everything you wrote. It must be true it makes perfect sense she sounded so strong the other day and I read happiness in her post and she seemed to feel accomplished in what she had done. She fought the demon and won. Sandi please do as others have instructed here be kind to yourself please. You need to rest and rest some more (this comin from a mother who is completely and totally exhausted all the time and can't rest hem I need to).

You will feel strong again I promise. You will do some things along the road we travel that will bring those tears again, but it will ease over time. You will also accomplish things and you won't be debilitated like you feel now.

HUGS to you today
Cindy

Sandi I had similar grief waves as the year mark approached. It feels like we go back to the beginning but we dont. Our mind, body and spirit are constantly processing the loss and at times the waves just hit. I know the pain and sadness that comes with them so sending you a big hug my friend. The good news is with time the waves hit much less often. God bless. Gerald

You're not back at the beginning, but simply wading through grief. It rises and falls at any given time. At the one year mark, I had a complete breakdown in - of all places - the dentist office. I was crying and had to call my mother (and I am 47!) At two years now, there are still many times that will sneak up on you. It's ok to be sad, and ok to cry. It is working through it, and that is what we have to do. Hugs.

Sandy, You will continue to have those grief waves, whether hard or soft they will come and you will handle them the way your mind and heart needs to. I have been having a tough time at the 8 month mark, things were suppose to happen this past weekend that Stevan was to be part of, it was the annual golf tourney all the guys went to, he loved it and always had so much fun, this was my trigger I am sure. But as time goes on we all seem to handle them a bit better. I expect the waves to lesson at some point but there will be the big one once in a while. you take care of yourself and let things happen and you will be stronger after each. Peace and Love to you.
Laurie

Do not be afraid to ask your doctor for help. There are many, many mild sedatives that can see you through. At this day and age there is no excuse for not sleeping.

I have Netflix on my bedroom TV and have 2 Kindles. These can help you through a rough night!

KK

Sandi this was a tough time for me as well. That part of the journey is when I found DS. The words and understanding helped me through my darkest moments. Remember to focus on the good times and take small steps in this roller coaster ride. It's ok to cry and it's ok to scream. You may get a chuckle out do this but I can remember when I was at my lowest point I was in my kitchen and something happened I don't remember exactly what because at that point anything and everything broke me. Anyway I got angry and upset and I started taking the baking pan and smacking it on the counter. That poor pan was all dented up when I finished. Then I guess my strength must have had more power than I thought because the darn sink started leaking and I had to call my bil to come fix it. He asked me what happened. I told him the pan and I had a fight and I won. Lol. Blessings. Susan

Sandi, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. This is a crazy journey we're on, and you never know what will trigger a setback. It's 4 am and I've been awake for 2 hours! I know tomorrow will be hard because I'm not getting a good nights sleep. I have no advice for you, as I'm very early on this road myself. Just wanted to send good thoughts your way and tell you I hope you are feeling a little bit better.

Hugs,
Lori

You never get over losing your "heart".