Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Cjjalone 12/18/2013

I am just past ten months and think I am doing ok most of the time. I was fine all day yesterday until after work. Walked into my house - and that was it. He still wasn't here- no tracks in the snow- no evidence of any life except me. And that was how my bad evening went. Ended up sleeping in my chair all night- which is a sign of really tough night because that is what I did while I took care of him. And now it is time to get ready for work again. Strange how I can go through many days pretty much ok- then without warning I have a tough time. I guess I just start again this morning and hope for a better day. Thanks for always listening. Cindy

Trici 12/18/2013

Hi Cindy,
The loneliness just grabs hard some times. He's not here and I'm so sad. This alone stuff really stinks. Just saying my house or my car, not ours, makes me nuts.
It still amazes me that my husband can be dead and I'm still alive, so not right.
Sounds like at ten months you're getting better over all. Hope your day brings an unexpected blessing. Trici

papagena 12/18/2013

I know exactly what you mean. I too thought I was doing well and then 2/3 weeks ago I started to cry deeply again everyday. Like you, I am at ten months now and a big sorrow wave submerged me when I was least expecting it.

I wish you better days, come here often, we will support you.
Big, big hug to you. Viviane

sandeestttn 12/18/2013

10 months here too. I have been so sad, and my eyes have been leaking. I figured it was the holidays and the 1 year anniversary date swooping in.

Patriciavara 12/18/2013

I had one of those days today. This is going to be tough on Christmas Eve and Day since they were all about our families getting together. I have been posting here about in-law problems, so my kids decided to have a more relaxing holiday season without the inlaws. I am totally for that, since it would have been a very stressful time anyway. I had to fill out an affadavit of death today, which really brought the tears. I thought I was doing ok, then that hit. I realize there are going to be those times, and just will hope for a better day tomorrow. Take good care of yourself....Patricia

russ1153 12/18/2013

I'm a little over 9 months and I have been experiencing the same thing. Doing OK at one point crying the next, without an obvious trigger. Holiday's? Winter? Darkness? Realizing it's real? All of the above?

Hang in there is all we can do.

Russ

dl1959 12/18/2013

I'm also at 10 months. I was up most of last night with anxiety and just crying. Haven't done that in awhile.
I'm taking something tonight so I can get some rest. Gotta go to work and be productive.

Diane

alliepoo 12/19/2013

I am at 10 months too, the holidays have thrown me for a loop and I'm so tired of being alone. I miss my husband with every fiber of my being, but he isn't coming back. I don't know why 10 months is so hard. I guess reality has finally set in.

gerald222 12/19/2013

Cindy those steps back are part of the grief process. The good news is in my heart of hearts I know once I work my way through that sadness I will have future days that are ok. Emotional rollercoaster is what grief is all about. Wishing you more ok days as you move forward. Gerald

marie444 12/19/2013

Hi Cindy. I can relate. The house is usually so very, very quiet. Right now I have a handyman renovating my tiny kitchen and it's nice to hear the sounds of hammering and puttering around.

Shrn 12/19/2013

The empty house was especially hard for me. It was almost better not to leave to avoid returning home. But every time you return you are one step closer to healing. I do understand. Sharon

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