Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members
19,465 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Two years today

russ1153
russ1153
Well, today is two years since I unexpectantly lost my wife Laurie. While I am doing much better than I was, I really hoped I would be further along by now. While the grieving part still hurts I think trying to begin your new life is almost as hard. I'm starting to think that while I was able to stay busy I really haven't created a new life for me, with hobbies, friends, etc Since I retired last year I have a lot more of the day to fill than I once did. While I so miss having someone special in my life I'm not sure I can have that until I'm comfortable with myself, so they would be adding to what I have. I can't expect someone to make me whole again.

I don't know what I would have done without this site, where everyone understands what each of us is dealing with.

Russ
gerald222
gerald222
Russ you are at the point you need to be in this journey. No time frames for anyone. Sending you a big Canadian hug. The anniversary dates are truly painful. For me they tend to trigger flashbacks to the painful last days. God bless.
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
When I first came on this site your posts were very inspirational. The love you had for your wife shined through and you always had a kind and welcoming word for new members. I just reached the one year anniversary on Monday. Thanks for continuing to post. Yes, it is easy at times to stay busy but that one special love is gone. We are fortunate to have such a wonderul site to all share and encourage each other.
KimKos
KimKos
Russ...big hug..I had my 2 year in December..and I know how you feel. I actually had made myself Lists..I don't know if they were to do lists..to live lists..but what ever they were they had to go...I was spinning around like a funky yo yo. I had made lists of my lists..crazy 30 day challenges..It actually was Martha that suggested this was not so healthy...I didn't want to believe it at first...fought it for a bit..and now I find myself not pushing forward like I have a goal..or a deadline but more like a stroll..but filled with awe and wonder....appreciation...its a nice feeling...I can honestly say that the nice feeling seems to fill me more than the other...not a lot ..but its a start......
matoacalady
matoacalady
Russ, you are to be admired. I look forward to the day I can be somewhat positive about my journey. I just want the everlasting pain to end, I know one day it will.
garmel
garmel
It inspires me to know there maybe better days ahead. Thanks for sharing. I am only at 9 weeks and don't think there will be a better life. The stories on here inspire me to continue each day and hope for the best.
BandiBlue
BandiBlue
Hi, Russ . . .
Thinking of you and wishing you peace on this day. I am glad you continue to post here. You have been very supportive of me throughout the past 18 months, and for that I am so very grateful.
Sincerely,
Bandi
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
Creating a life for us when we were happy with the one we had was very difficult for me. Hanging on to the past and not embracing today was a huge undertaking. I felt so defeated on so many levels. And so very tired of putting on a happy mask verses just hibernation. It takes time, my friend. Time to accept our fate and time to figure out what to do with it. It takes time to get to know who we are and what we want. I remember disliking where I was and feeling hopeless for the future. But slowly things came to help me appreciate the day. Sometimes very small things like appreciating a sunny day is a start. Hugs to you on this special day. Sharon
sandeestttn
sandeestttn
Russ.... you made it this far. It was 2 years in Feb for me. You have done a great job. Keep up the great work.... Bless you... Sandee
Community Leadermarjoe
marjoe
Hugs, Russ - agree with Gerald, you are where you are right now. Take care - Marsha
deauxgirl
deauxgirl
You have a great attitude Russ. You are so right about creating a life that you enjoy. It takes time to explore and you will change into who you are meant to be. I think when you are out doing the things that you like, maybe you will meet someone else. If not, just be "you" Thinking of you on this anniversary. Hugs.

Paula