Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Two years ago today (well it was a Sunday), I held my husband's hand as he took his last breath.
He had a nine month battle with lung cancer. Initially, he came home from the gym complaining of pain in his leg. So for a few days we did home remedies, ice, rest, etc., but nothing worked, and he was in unbearable pain. So off to an emergency visit to the doctor who sent him for X-rays and a brain scan. The brain scan did not register to me for leg pain. Nothing showed up on either scan and then doctor sent my husband for a spinal lumbar scan. Bam, cancer in the spinal area and primary tumor was lung. The initial diagnosis was not good and oncologist said possibly three months. My husband had asked how long and doctor did not sugar coat. He had a biopsy of lung tumor and was able to be treated with Tarceva. Same drug Valerie Harper has been on. To stop the leg pain from tumors in spinal area, my husband had spinal chemo every two weeks in the hospital. He also had radiation. Eventually no tumors in spine, but it did so much damage to his throat area he went on feeding tube after aspirating. To watch this healthy man who worked out, never smoked, die from cancer was a major heartbreak.
I have received many emails today, calls and it is touching that people remember two years later the date of his passing and want to comfort. So I will plant something beautiful in my backyard in his honor and remembrance. He was a wonderful husband, my best friend and I will miss him always.
He had a nine month battle with lung cancer. Initially, he came home from the gym complaining of pain in his leg. So for a few days we did home remedies, ice, rest, etc., but nothing worked, and he was in unbearable pain. So off to an emergency visit to the doctor who sent him for X-rays and a brain scan. The brain scan did not register to me for leg pain. Nothing showed up on either scan and then doctor sent my husband for a spinal lumbar scan. Bam, cancer in the spinal area and primary tumor was lung. The initial diagnosis was not good and oncologist said possibly three months. My husband had asked how long and doctor did not sugar coat. He had a biopsy of lung tumor and was able to be treated with Tarceva. Same drug Valerie Harper has been on. To stop the leg pain from tumors in spinal area, my husband had spinal chemo every two weeks in the hospital. He also had radiation. Eventually no tumors in spine, but it did so much damage to his throat area he went on feeding tube after aspirating. To watch this healthy man who worked out, never smoked, die from cancer was a major heartbreak.
I have received many emails today, calls and it is touching that people remember two years later the date of his passing and want to comfort. So I will plant something beautiful in my backyard in his honor and remembrance. He was a wonderful husband, my best friend and I will miss him always.
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Love and Hugs,
Martha
I try not to let the horrible times consume me but they seem to creep in at the most un-opportune times.
Your husband's suffering seems so awful for both of you. It just boggles my mind how such good people are put through so much indignities and so much pain.
You must put this behind you and try to remember the good times that you both shared and think of his laughter and joy in having you in his life.
I wish you peace,
Roz
First you are truly blessed to have those folks who took the time to remember and acknowledge your husband's two year mark. That has got to be a comfort. As much as your husband suffered here he now has his spiritual body that will never get sick or weak or have any pain or feel any sorrowful emotions and will never die. And he is waiting for the day you come home to him and the Lord.
Peace, Tim
It must be comforting to have folks remember your husband. When I read your post, it reminded me of a song I used to love as a child. It talks about a tree- it is a very old song - maybe you have heard it- "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro. I used to cry listening to that song. I always imagined how beautiful it would be to be loved like the subject of the song was loved. Never did I imagine that I would be the one left remembering.
Yes, I think I too will plant a tree on an anniversary. Thank you for planting the seed in my mind. (Clever pun there- though it really wasn't intended.
As you begin your third year, I send you wishes for continued strength of spirit. As I read recently in the post about resilient people, bamboo bends in the wind but does not break. I hope you look back on the last 2 years and acknowledge how strong and resilient you are, and may the coming year bring you some happiness and joy.
Thanks for sharing your story. It touched my heart. Love and hugs. Lori