Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I am on this successful path of twos today. You see Ernie passed on 10.18.13 at 2:22 AM we were a couple 2 that had become 1. We dealt with his diagnosis and treatment for 22 months.. Before we use to joke that life is a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs. In our 6.5 year marriage, I had lost 4 siblings and my Dad, his Grandpa and 2 Grandmas. Nothing can be compared to my loss of Ernie, the reason is he is who was around to share my deepest fears, my deepest wishes, goals and he was the one that could always turn my frowns into smiles. I was called Princess Mary by my Grandparents and Dad, then I was Ernie's princess, he asked me to marry him at Princess Park. We married on 07.07.07.
He has turned on a few light bulbs for me over the last few weeks. One is that I have to prepare myself to lose my Mom. I also have to survive this pain and come out whole. The way I am going to do that is keep him in my heart and allow him to help me heal. I am going to trust in my heart to hold him dear and keep our memories safe. While I keep my promise to him to survive. I cried a lot today, but I also felt stronger with each cry. So please do not be afraid to lean on your friends here, but I do caution you to not share too much outside the group because people that have not lost a spouse DO NOT GET IT... God Bless... Thanks for letting me share...
He has turned on a few light bulbs for me over the last few weeks. One is that I have to prepare myself to lose my Mom. I also have to survive this pain and come out whole. The way I am going to do that is keep him in my heart and allow him to help me heal. I am going to trust in my heart to hold him dear and keep our memories safe. While I keep my promise to him to survive. I cried a lot today, but I also felt stronger with each cry. So please do not be afraid to lean on your friends here, but I do caution you to not share too much outside the group because people that have not lost a spouse DO NOT GET IT... God Bless... Thanks for letting me share...
The memories that we have of them that trigger emotional responses are all over the place. I've found that memories that used to trigger sadness now will sometimes trigger a smile instead.
:)
Bob
It's been a year for me. I have come along way. I went from lying in bed, waiting for death to come get to me (but not suicidal), to getting a job and trying to survive. Trying to get a life for myself.
Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time. We are here for you.
" I do not want to get over him"
That's exactly how I feel about losing Sam. Yes, I have good memories, but sometimes even the good memories make me cry. Yet without those memories ... and those tears ... I would be emotionless and insensitive. And so, I do not want to get over him ... ever.