I could have waited 10-20 years...

I find myself wishing his turn had come first and not mine.

themaster....yes you should have had 10-20 more years..your turn came way to early..

In my timeline I expected Ray to have 10 more yrs. after surgery. I actually told him it would give us 10 more yrs. together..

You're absolutely right, in that one always has to go first. But I, too, could have waited 10 or 20 years...my husband was 15 years older than myself, and I knew that he would likely go before me...but at the same time, he was only 59...June 21 would have been his 60th birthday...I would rather be celebrating that, than mourning his passing.

I know quite a few couples that died together or within minutes of each other. That would have been rough on the family but so much easier for me. My husband died three days after his 62 birthday. I had hoped to have him with me much longer

Yes we all have our turn, but it doesn't make it any easier whenever that turn comes. If I had 100 more years with him it wouldn't have been enough. Just living out my days till I can see him on the other side.

I grew up with a couple. they had their 50th Anniversary. She had Als, was in a nursing home. Jim was on his way there to see her. They called him, he was on his way there. After getting a call she had died. He had a heart attack, in the car. Died about a block away. Their only child got killed about 20 years before that. Their grandson got killed about a month later. So sad

I don't watch much TV, but I had it on in December while I was wrapping gifts, and all the sentimental movies were on. Caspar the Friendly Ghost made me bawl when his mom's spirit visited him, she looked a lot like my wife when I met her. Script writers try to trigger emotions, and in our sensitive state...

My wife was home in a hospital bed in between the 2nd and last hospital. One day she grabbed my hand and said, "Thank you for how you take care of me - I would not have been able to do this for you if it was reversed." I reminded her when I was in my early 30s and very sick, she took care of me. I wasn't confined to a bed, but still I felt like I was reciprocating for her care all those years ago.

Arlene was 8 1/2 years older than me, and when I proposed, she actually asked me: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?" She only made it to 63 1/2 :'( but I was there for her.

I lost Arlene last July, the grief is less raw than at first, but the sadness lingers. I saw some photos taken at a dinner last week, and I looked so sad, even though I was having a nice time. I didn't even realize my sadness is on my face like that. We go on, hopefully we heal, and we remember.

I'm sorry for your loss. You're in the right place for support from people who can empathize.