Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I find myself trying to move on the best I can at this time, but I seem to get 2 steps forward and then all the sudden because reasons behind my husbands death should have been caught years ago I get pulled 3 steps back. First there and please forgive my spelling, but the outopsy report was wronge not once but twice, it took many weeks of phone calls and going over and over all that was wronge to try and get it right and then trying to get them to send it to me, which it was still wronge after 3 months of going through that. That is not even the worest part though, the cancer should had been detected over 5yrs ago. By the time they found the cancer it was in all his major organs. The only signs he showed was weight lose and he was tired, but he started a new job and opened his own pizza shop so we thought that it was stress. I still try and think back to other signs that I missed like pains that he had that would come and go and I just keep thinking I should have had him see a Dr, I know the what ifs will never bring him back, but I get so made that the Drs should have been able to detected this cancer along time ago. That is something you just can not get over.
Hugs and love, Diane
The only encouragement I can give you is that I know how cheated you must feel. We all look back with should of and could of but they only hurt us and not change the circumstances. Look back though we will, until we finally get past the hurt of the past. I wish you well. Sharon
What kind of cancer did your husband have? My husband had cancer too (bile duct cancer: cholangiocarcinoma) which is rare & very aggressive & normally has few symptoms until it is already Stage IV & terminal. He went to the doctor & had a complete physical when he started feeling run down & they sent him home with a clean bill of health & said he was in great shape.
He started having digestive problems & went back & they told him there was nothing wrong with him & to alter his diet. When that didnt help he went back again & they said he might have an ulcer & gave him medicine for that. When that didn't help he went back again, pointed to his stomach & said "Look here". They had him drink barium & found an obstruction so did a needle biopsy & found cancer in his gallbladder but said it was contained & they could remove it. By now months have passed & he has lost weight. The next vist a week later they told us it had almost covered his liver too, was unresectable & gave him weeks to 2 months to live without chemo & maybe up to a year with chemo so he started chemo but he died 3 weeks later. I am with you on this one. I'm angry too that noone caught until it was too late. All that time wasted waiting around for non-related test results trying to pin down the problem, but by then it was too far advanced to treat.
I get your frustration & so sorry for your loss..
Hugs, Cyndi
Hugs and Encouragement,
Stan