Hey you are making baby steps, that's great.

Just do what feels comfortable. You're something for yourself, that's a positve thing.

I hope you enjoy your evenings out.

Well done Russ. I agree, just do what is comfortable to you.

I do go out but just with friends so far. However, I have joined a debating club. I will attend my first meeting in 2 weeks time. I am a bit apprehensive of large groups of unknown people but we have to make some efforts to rebuilt our social circle. I will see how it will go. I can always leave if I find it too daunting.

Well done you.

I'm also at about 4 months and it sounds to me like you are doing great. I never know how I am going to react to new situations. There are so many firsts still, but each one is like making it to the top of a mountain to me. I hope you enjoy your outings. Sounds like your friend really cares about you.

I think that's great! I think you are doing it in a smart way, too, and pacing yourself.

Well done!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Mel40: Not sure that I'm doing great but I Know at some point I need to start moving forward. I can always back off if I think I'm moving tp fast.
Your comment a my "good" friend, reminds me of what I read early on that you will be surprise by who steps forward to help and who disappears. I would not have expected this guy to be one to care.He is the only one at work who continues to ask how I'm doing and I have worked at the same company for 38 years.

Even in the best of circumstances, it takes courage to get into a group dynamics. Thankfully, some thoughtful friend reaches out and invites you to join, it is a blessing.
Take you time to getting to know people. some might become your new friends, and God knows, we need new friends.
Good luck

Personally, I didn't socialize in your time frame, however, I did have alot of anxiety when out in public ~
To curb this I carried token keychains w/me on every outing ~
One keychain had a coin w/the Serenity Prayer ~
The other had a small figure of Edvard von Munch's famous oil painting "The Scream" ~
Whenever I'd feel the anxiety start to rise I'd reach for either or both to calm my fears by simply holding or rubbing it/them ~
From all my silent screaming, it got to the point I had rubbed all the coior off my little figure ~
Sometimes, I hung them from the strap of my purse clutching them looking like a paranoid tourist ~
When I was w/out a purse I carried them separately in my pockets rubbing on them looking like a pervert - don't do that! *wink*
I embarrassed my kids one time when I was doing that, they threatened to never ever ever ever go out in public w/me again !
HALLELUJAH!
Anyhoo, those keychains now sit on a shelf as an affirmation of my strength in healing from my Darkest Hour to remind me I can & will survive anything ~

Another consideration is to set a time limit or simply answer your internal call of when it is time to leave ~
Once home, shake off or rub your shoulders/upper arms to discharge the dense energy/overwhelming feelings from the outing (it happens sometimes) ~

Try not to eat cucumbers, they cause belching/tooting, as well as any foods you know will cause either/both ~
No picking your teeth, digging out ear wax, scratching your butt, picking your nose ~
Carry breath mints, drops or spray; check your breath regularly ~
Oops, sorry, I was having a flashback of getting my son ready for prom ~ *wink*

I hope you find what you are looking for or what your subconscious needs to be enlightened with ~
Take care & take it easy ~
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I am currently unsupervised. I know, it freaks me out too! But, the possibilities are endless ... *me*

Oh Dot.... I really needed that rolling in floor laugh. I was kind of down today, that laugh gave me the strength to get up and get my stuff done. Wonder what people think when you are just walking along remembering stuff like that?

Got to get bills paid, If I don't come back, you will know they picked me up and I am in the looney bin. (I hear there is a waiting list on it here)
lol, Sandee

Everyone has their own comfort level and time frame. In my mind, there is nothing wrong with trying to get back into a social life. Just do it on your own terms, and don't feel guilty about not doing things that make you uncomfortable. I lost my the love of my life 6 months ago, and I understand exactly how you feel. I am moving along at my own pace, and I have no problem saying "no" to situations that I know I would feel uncomfortable with. Personally, I found the 4 month time period to be very difficult. In the past 2 months though, I feel like I have made a lot of progress. Not that everything is great and their is no pain, but I feel that things are starting to be more under control. There is no rush -- just move along at your own pace.

I got my bills paid, then I went to the movies, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It only cost 5.50 to get in. So I got a whole afternoon entertainment for 10 dollars. I found myself, laughing, or going eek, or ugh, out loud, then turned to see if anyone was looking at me. I drank a coke, ate popcorn, and candy. Didn't have to share. I sat where I decided.
Wow, this going to movies alone is great. I almost sat through another one, but it was 2 1/2 hrs long. I was looking to see what else was on. I might go again to see something else tomorrow.

summary.... So on 4th, I went to my sons pool party where there were 6 young couples. I played Soccer Ball the youngens. Had a great time.

Today, paid my bills. Keep my Hot date with Johnny Depp, (at the movies)... came home, mowed my lawn. Drank a Beer. Yes I drank ...

Its only 5 oclock here now. What do I do with the rest of the night?

Good for you getting out to meet people. Maybe you could try dancing where you do not have to make physical contact depending on what kind of music is involved.

Maggie

there are none of those here in deep south, except bars...I don't want a drunk pawing me....lol

I think it is great that you are making the baby steps. Just one step at a time and before you know it you will be on that dance floor with someone. Just don't forget to breathe and think the thoughts I can do this.. That is what I think when I have to try and do something waiting for the right time to go to the movies to see The Heat. It will be me myself and I.

I went to the movies 10 days after my husband died, my kids made me go with them. I went, can't remember seeing the movie. That movie "Safe Haven" came out on DVD, I bought it. I can now watch it. It was really good.

Movie going has always been a thing we have done. My husband always said that was the only time I would sit still....lol...It used to drive him crazy that I was energetic, during watching tv, I had things going... cross stitch, couldn't even sit still to play cards, or a game. Saw a wall or window needing washing. Would jump up and do it.

He never did anything at home, but rest and nap, all those years. He had office job, as a chemist. He never did physical work.