My first post here. Lost the love of my life about 10 weeks ago though it seems like yesterday. I had just got back to working full time a few weeks ago and now I have been furloughed for at least 60 days though I feel that the company will not survive. It was OK the first few days but now being here all day without Brenda is working on my positive attitude. So many things to remind me of her, all good I might add. We were married 43 yrs. ago and managed thru our share of down times including the tragic losss of our son in 2006. I know in my heart I am going to make it thru this but this hole in my soul is such a large thing to overcome. Thankfully I have a good support family including two wonderful supportive daughters! Now as I look at the medical bills and a retirement a couple years earlier than planned I have had enough of the struggle to try to fix it all. At least this job loss has not been a stressful thing as it has been before. I believe it is because God is telling my soul to be at peace about it and to retire and do the things Brenda and I didn't get the time to do. Some of this I believe stems from a vision/dream I had with Brenda telling me she was OK and that I would be OK too. At first I thought it might have been a dream but I have never remembered dreams past a few seconds after I awoke. This one I can remember every minute detail of so I hold it most dear to my heart. So I am going to get thru this, take care of my financial problems, and live for her memory and my happiness. This I know for I can get thru all things through Christ who strengthens me! It feels so good to get this out of my head. Now I feel better!