I agree very much with you. Cliffskat's comment struck home with me also. It would be dishonoring our loved one in many ways if we stopped living our lives as fully as possible.

That's how I feel too. It was a very profound comment. Mike loved life beyond measure. He loved his little container garden in the backyard. I'm planning on planting some thing this summer just for him.

I'm happy for you to have something to live for. I understood this concept when my 14 year old daughter returned to school two days later after her fathers death and she said "mommy it hurt so bad to live without my daddy, I love him so much . He showed me so much and lied me unconditionally. He always beloved I could when I felt I couldn't so for this love I have for daddy I will continue to live, do my best in school. This is how I will honor daddy's life. I know he will never leave me alone-he walks with me." She opened up my eyes and although life is not the same without him; we do out best. We are learning to enjoy life again and embrace new moments and treasure or memories with my husband. Once again congratulations!

I am wounded by this thread! I thought my post in that thread was much more enlightened that Cliffskat's. And mine was before her's!

I think you guys are just trying to get on the moderator's good side!

***** End of false outrage ****

Actually Cliffskat and I were saying the same thing, she just said it better, lol.

When my daughter died, my other daughter Candice ( who was only 18 months older than her sister ) said pretty much what Sadfire's daughter said - that she was going to live her life to its fullest to honor her sister.

Candice was 20 when Michelle died. She got married three years later - she had a great wedding and she had no bridesmaids ( if she could not have Michelle there she did not want any bridesmaids ). She now has three kids ( the ones in my profile picture ), and named each daughter after Michelle. So, yeah she was inspired to live a good and full life.

As I said in that ( evidently overlooked ) post some of the best moments in my life happened after my daughter died so we just can't predict the future :)

Bandi I'm glad you were inspired. It's a line from a Beatles song, Hey Jude, "the movement you need is on your shoulders".

Bob

OK, Bob, I went back and reread your comments and yes, I was encouraged very much by what you said also. I remember wondering how you were dealing with losing both a daughter and a wife. Very, very difficult. HOWEVER(with a big smile on my face), the part that I think is resonating with some of us is the comment that was made about dishonoring our loved one if we don't live life well now. For me, that was a small kick in the pants to get out and start living life again and, as soon as possible, with a degree of joy.

Last night I was at a fundraiser for Childhood Brain Cancer awareness and after the dinner which was at a venue where Howie loved going at because of the knowledge that a good meal would be served, the band afterwards was excellent and I danced and while dancing I thought about how he would have been on the dance floor enjoying this music along with me instead of being sad and letting it get to me, I kept dancing and enjoying the moment. My poor sister -in-law and brother were kept busy :)

This thread makes me smile! You guys are wonderful!
BandiBlue, it was so thoughtful of you to acknowledge Cliffskat's impact. This is why this site is so incredibly helpful and comforting.
And Bob...your input was awesome, too!!! Does this get me on your good side now???!!!!!

@twolabs :) of course! This grieving stuff is so serious that I love it when I can make somebody smile, even a little bit :)

This thread reminds me of a quote from one of the New Orleans guys after Katrina. He said "we're still alive, damn it!" Meaning that the storm had not stomped their will to live.

Well each of us had our own Katrina, but we are alive, damn it!

Ps, I better get on the moderator's good side too, or I will get banned for cussing :)

So, yeah, Cliffskat's post inspired me to, let me see, praise Cliffskat :)

Bob

Thank you for bringing that line to my attention bandiblue. It really really struck a cord with me. The tears started as soon as I read it. Was having a super off day today. Will try and pick myself up and venture out in the world. I know I can rebuild but up to this point my heart didnt want to. God bless. Gerald

Okay, first your comments made me cry, then Bob came along and made me laugh, so I am sitting here laughing and crying at the same time -- I know y'all are the only ones that would understand why.

And as for you Bob - you and Cliff would have got along like a house on fire - you've got the same mischievous streak he had, which always kept my ego in check. Thanks for that - I think.... :P

Love and Hugs,
Martha

That could be the truest thing I have read all week. I shall honour the love of my life, by loving the life that I live. I shall think of this post often

I read all the posts and general topics that Cliffskat, Shn, & Marjoe writes or responds to. They have inspires me to get through this journey that I am on. All three of them have gone through the rough side of grief and now are on the other side. Who better to help then some one that has been there. I am sure that is why they are CLs.
Thanks to all three of you for doing such a good job and helping us on this site.
Hugs Millerb.