My husband used to touch me so sweetly, like it would be the last time, and he thanked me for taking care of him. It's almost unbearable to remember these times yet they were the most precious to me. God comfort you. Hugs, Kim

When my husband was in the hospital, before his condition hit a sharp decline, he said 'I'd rather be dead than live like this'...I had hoped that he was just saying it out of frustration...One of the last things he ever said to me was 'I love you'...and I was able to tell him how much I loved him, how he was the love of my life and my knight in shining armour...he gave me a really nice kiss 3 days before he passed...I can still feel it.

I can so relate to the comments posted today.

A few months before I lost Larry & I would take him to the doctor,
every time we stopped at a red light I would hold his hand & he would
look at me and smile.
Just out of the blue, he would say "What would I do without you."
and I would say "Babe you would do the same for me."
So many things we shared because of our Love for each other.

I knew losing him was going to be very very hard, but NOT this hard.

My poor husband had 5 years of hell, (treatments) , Radiation, gallons and gallons of poison (chemo), cyber surgery, a trip tp M.D. Anderson for a Genetic testing for the chemo that would work best on his tumors. Come to find out the chemo treatments side effects, amoung other things, would make his skin fall off, unbearable pain and he said ,"hell no! I'd rather die of cancer than Chemo !" Oh, I can still hear him say that !! AND it would probably extend his life by maybe a month !!! When his pet-scan showed that his tumors had grown and multiple tumors showed up, well, the drive home was so tough that I could hardly drive. The silence was deafening and the overwhelming sadness was indiscribable ! He took the vitamin C i.v. treatments, which were thousands of dollars, but we had agreed that we would do everything in our power to extend his life and I think we did. Endless trips to somewhere all the time Monday thru Friday. Multiple suppliments everyday. He was a fighter to the end. Please, God, let me go quickly. I know far too much abt. suffering ! I know that we get what we get and have no choice in the matter. I must have needed to vent a little,(alot). He's been gone 3 mos. also and I am still trying to adjust to life.
God bless us all,
Ruthann

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, and had most of his insides removed. He refused Chemo, radiation. He lived 15 years after that with no reoccurrence. I told him, it was his life and his body, to decide. I backed his decision. I watched my 37 year old sister, suffer and die after her treatments. I decided it was quality versus quantity of life, she left a 12 year old son. She fought!!. Sometimes the treatment can be worse than the disease. If I ever get cancer, I am not taking treatments. Sandee

Watching your spouse suffer, deteriorate and die from any disease or condition is terrible. Many here are grieving for cancer victims and my husband had aml leukemia. He had a terrible time of illness [not cancer] in 2001 and was in the hospital mostly for 5 mo. Very hard to see all he went thru. He gradually recovered to a point and we had a little break before he was diagnosed w/leukemia in 2006. He was 72 when this happened, and I realize I was blessed to have him till his 70s when so many here lost their spouses at a young age. He fought the leukemia for 2 hard yrs. and passed away in 9/08 - almost 7 yrs. ago. Now, I don't relive those awful days and having to see the pain and sorrow in his face. That was a large part of the first yr. after he died, and I'm sure it is hard for you to stop that "movie in your mind" of all that happened. He wanted to take everything he could to fight the disease, and I felt he was ruining his last days, but did not say this to him. I was thankful to be able to drive him to the cancer ctr. 5 days per wk. when he wasn't in the hospital. You did what you could for your husband, and I know he loved you for it. Time will gradually erase those difficult scenes from your mind - at least they won't be there constantly. I began to slowly feel better emotionally after the first anniversary of his death. This isn't true for all - but I'm thankful that it was for me. May you be blessed with peace.
Doye