Hey Joe,
Don't worry about it. I most of the time I would rather stare off into space than to participate with what's going on around me to. I just need to sit still and stare sometimes. I have reached a point that unless the person is serious when they ask how I am they shouldn't because I will tell them. The good, the bad and the ugly of it. Continue doing what you have to do for yourself and take care.
Peace, Tim

Hey there, My usual answer is "still moving" so you're not alone in that.

Can't rustle up much more, as that's about it most of the time.

Not many get more than that out of me, and not often.

Just getting around to starting more clean up that's desperately needed to keep on with things, and a little done is a big deal.

I know exactly how you feel. I also get sick of saying the same phrase over and over again. Trying to feel ok when really I'm not. This stinks. It really does. :(

nobody asks me any more how I'm doing. (just my counselor) I guess they think I'm over it since I have been traveling and doing chores around the house. I just try to keep busy so I don't go into depression and I don't give myself time to think. I try to keep busy doing new things and meeting new people. Hugs Arlene

My usual answer is something along the lines of "I'm ok, its very hard, I'm doing my best".

I actually had one of Chad's very close friends sit down with me at a party this past weekend after mostly everyone left and hand me a mint julep (it was a derby party). He goes I want to know how you're doing and I don't want to hear fine, tell me as much as you want to, and when you stop we will just drink. I was really shocked that someone I didn't know that well had enough compassion to want to actually KNOW. We talked for an hour, we drank the bourbon and it was really good for me to just let it out to someone that isn't a professional.

HI Joe -

My usual response lately is, " Well, I'm here. ". People can
fill in the blanks or whatever. At almost nine months and
virtually alone in my misery ( except for this group ), I really
don't care any longer. The days and nights are all the
same. Constant showers of misery with a few pleasant and
joyous thoughts if my wife at given times.

I think I would be shocked if someone actually had a true
interest in my feelings at present. I am not offended. I have
been guilty of doing the same thing to others over the years
and now have a different point of view. I shall talk to others
in the future that are suffering. Now I understand but my
education is arriving with a terrible price.

It is so odd to me how much has changed in such a short
period of time. I do not wish anyone anywhere in the
world harm but I just don't care what is happening across
the street or across the world. Politics, sports and all the
rest of it. I just don't care.

I am acutely aware of the fact I have lost my " zest for
life " but, then again, my wife was an integral part of
anything and everything in my life.

I have always been proud of the fact it seemed I was
blessed with the ability to tackle everything with energy
and an enthusiastic attitude. Now I move at the pace of
a snail and have this " What's the point ? " attitude about
almost everything. Maybe it is depression ( in part ) but
I have the feeling my new attitude is going to prevail in
the future as she was truly my motivation, my inspiration
and my " rock ". I have heard throughout my life that none
of us are indispensable. I beg to differ. My wife was
completely indispensable to me.

I know I have to get " better " as I don't want to end up
being one of those people sitting in a chair mumbling
and waiting for someone to wipe the oatmeal from my
chin. But I have to do it my own way and at my own
pace. I don't know what " better " will be but perhaps I
shall discover something that resembles it along the
way.

One of the things I am having trouble with is people
talking to me about my " new life " or the " new norm "
in my life. I don't have a " new life ". I don't know what
that means. My life stopped on 28 August, 2015. And I
don't know what " new norm " means. If this is
supposed to be " normal ", then I am not at all pleased
with it.

So, for the present. . . . Well, I'm here.

Blessings to all -

Darrell

I came across this article today. it is very relevant to this topic.

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2016/3/23/wallowing

wow...great article Katie...very astute fellow griever & writer.

people as me how I am doing, and my answer is, "Im pushing forward the best I can". Doesnt always mean Im good, ok, or bad.. just means that I am feeling, and doing what I can to push forward. Much love carla and girls

Believe me Joe, we all feel the same right down to the boo-hoo me part.

Loss of a loved one this is impact. Experiencing the unthinkable, life changing without our permission. We reel, stagger, stumble, confused, gut-wrenching, over-whelming but still the grieving person is in touch with reality. Quote " Researchers at the Institute of Medicine suggest in their study of bereavement that during this time our brains secrete neurohormones that allow us to register or recognize things that are happening around us in a detached, slow-motion way. From "Seven Choices Finding daylight after loss shatters your world"
So truly without a mirror you are alive and grieving normally
HUGS

When someone asks me how I'm doing, I say 'about the same'..it's almost impossible to say 'okay' because I have lost not only my husband but now my son, too. I am literally falling apart. My shoulder has been out for 2 weeks, and I just feel shitty both physically and mentally. They both went in March only one year apart. That said, I wish I could just remove that month from the calendar altogether.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss wendimac. By all means take August with your March. I hate the 22nd of every month as it comes around. A reminder that I have lost my future, and my past, when I lost the one person in the world that I loved more than anyone else.
If you don't mind me asking, how did your son die? I don't know how a parent survives such a loss. I cannot begin to imagine your pain. My heart and my love reaches out to you.
Much love. Yolanda