Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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MARIE2224 02/13/2010

IT IS 7 MONTHS TODAY SINCE MY HUSBAND
PASSED AWAY. I ACHE LIKE IT WAS JUST
HOURS AGO. {7/13/09}
THIS WEEKEND IS REALLY HARD SINCE IT IS ALSO VALENTINES DAY, IT WILL BE THE FIRST TIME IN 37 YEARS THAT I WILL BE ALL ALONE WITHOUT MY SWEET DEAR HUSBAND WITH ME. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
ALL I HAVE BEEN DOING IS CRYING SINCE I WOKE UP THIS MORNING.
THE TEARS NEVER STOPPED AND NEVER WILL.
HOW IS EVERYONE ELSE HOLDING ON???

deleted_user 02/13/2010

I have a friend in his 80s who told me one time that you never forget, but it does get easier to bear. For me right now, it has been very difficult. It is good to be on this forum. It will help some.

deleted_user 02/13/2010

I know for some, Valentine's day is sentimental. We never made a fuss over it. Just a suggestion--turn your focus onto others---grandchildren, perhaps a neighbor (alone) or someone in a nursing home. It may not eliminate your pain but it may make you feel good that you brightened someone else's day, even just a little.

All holidays are tough as are special occaisions. I just received an invitation to a wedding that I would really like to go to but I'm not sure if I can handle that yet. I do know that sometimes our anticipation of certain events and holidays can be worse than the actual day. It still is very hard for us but I do believe what Sandra said--in time in gets easier to bear. It has been 14 mos. for me yet there are days and moments I still become emotional. I think it is to be expected and is quite normal. At the same time, we need to believe there will come a day when we will be able to smile again.

laurabp 02/13/2010

I have been told often that "time heals", but I notice that the people who say this have been widowed many years - not just a few months. All of those first holidays, anniversaries, birthdays are hard. At 14 months, I can say it is getting easier for me, and I expect it will for you too. laurabp

deleted_user 02/13/2010

I feel alone even when I'm in a crowd....
I am so sorry you are hurting. I hope it helps to know there are others (like myself) who understand. Hang in there...After all, I guess that's all we can do, huh? Donna

JFerrante 02/13/2010

I totally understand your heartache. I ache for my partner everyday since he passed in May 2007, especially when I'm alone and it's a holiday like Valentines Day! I get sick from hearing about the gifts and flowers in the media for your honey.

Yes, that it all we can do is move on. It's simple to say in an intellectual way, but we're NOT dealing with the head, only the heart. Of course, society doesn't have time for sadness and grief because it's a very slow process and it's not profitable!

I see everyday how people multitask like fools trying to keep up with their self-imposed hectic lifestyle. It's completely meaningless after you experience death, most acutely of a soulmate. As with everything in life, we're blind until we experience it ourselves.

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