Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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rw18 11/13/2013

I started his year waking up next to the love of my life, I thought this is going to be the best year ever, it certainly got off to a great start. In february my mums cousin died after a long hard battle with colon cancer, she was only in her 50s. I was obviously really upset by this and the day she passed away my boyfriend came right round to mine and just spent the night cuddling me. He never met my cousin but he came the funeral with me and was there to support me. Her brother had terminal throat cancer and her sister has emphysema so there were two more of them really ill. I honestly thought the next funeral I'd be going to was one of theirs, not my boyfriends. About two weeks after my boyfriend died my cousin who had throat cancer passed away. I went the funeral to show my face but I couldn't face going inside for the service it was too soon after Matts funeral.We also lost a good family friend around the same time. I honestly thought this year could not get any worse until today.I have an auntie who emigrated to new zealand last year, she has a daughter who is 7 and had her son in august. we found out today she has breast cancer, its in her lymph nodes too. She is only in her 30s. I'm thinking positive as her treatment starts soon but its just another bit of bad news we really didnt need. I am sure this year is cursed in someway. I just can't face anymore bad news. it really has been the worst year of my life, well at least the past few months since July, until then everything was perfect, I was so happy, I had my Matt there to pick me up when things got tough but then he left me. The one thing I wanted tonight when I found out about my auntie was some reassurance from him, a big hug but I can't have that. Its things like this that make me miss him even more. I for one will be so glad to wave goodbye to 2013!!! I just hope 2014 is better

tlsom 11/13/2013

I am so sorry to read all you have gone and are going through. I am with you...2014 cannot get here soon enough but for me bad news has been here since Dec 2010...first my father in law, then my dad, then my husband and just last week my mother in law. Too much loss for too many years. Praying 2014 is better. God bless you.

Girldawg1 11/13/2013

Don't you feel sometimes there are so many tragic events that we are left here by ourselves to deal with? When we don't have our partner to hold one another up during these times it hits us with even a harder impact. Whereas I don't wish for the time to pass any quicker, who knows what tomorrow will bring. Sometimes, it just can't get any worse. These are dark times for us, and we have to believe that there are better times ahead. Where are we without hope and faith - that is what helps to keep us going.

sandeestttn 11/13/2013

I am just afraid how much worse 2014 can be. Can't we turn the calendar back a few years?

gerald222 11/13/2013

I am with you 100%. Waiting for this year to end. Gerald

sweetpeaswife 11/14/2013

This has definitely been the worst year of my life.. Jan. my brother-in-law passed away, March 16th, my husband passed away, lost a dear longtime friend in May, and my baby sister passed away June 16th.
Bring on 2014.. its got to be better then 2013 !

rw18 11/14/2013

Thank you all for your kind messages. I'm sorry 2013 has been such a horrible year for a lot of you too. I have never been superstitious but now I honestly believe its something to do with the number 13. Its seems every few days there's some bad news. Just in the town I live since Matt died there's been 2 others I know of round his age that have both passed away too. A young girl of 24 and a man of 25. It really is siccruel at this age.
Girldawg I feel exactly the same I just want him to hold me, I know it wouldn't feel as bad and I'd feel so much stronger if I had him
I hope 2014 is a better year for everyone, surely it can't get any worse?

NutritionMagician 11/14/2013

I was just sitting with a friend last weekend and she said this is a bad year for everyone. I am hoping for better things in 2014, trying to see the positive. Praying for us all for a glimmer of light in this dark time. Rachel, I always agree with your posts.

rf2069 11/14/2013

I agree with Sandee. In 2010 my dad died, brother was diagnosed with lung cancer and my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. 2011 was full on chemo, radiation and surgeries, My brother died in March of that year. By the end of 2011 all the surgeries , chemo and radiation were complete and I was feeling good about the new year. In January 2012 my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer. Stage 1...all is good with the surgery to remove his upper lobe. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer mid year. In oct 2012 they found cancer in one freakin' lymph node in the middle of my husbands chest.. Ended 2012 and started 2013 with more radiation and chemo. Finished treatments at the end of January had pet scan to check on the lymph node and found cancer had spread to his liver and bones. He passed away on March 20...two years to the day that my brother passed away .Since my year has started and ended badly for the past 3 years I guess I am a little afraid of the new year also. Sorry this is so long.

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