What a roller coaster of emotions I have felt this week. On Tuesday some of Chad's friends from about an hour away (where he used to live) asked me to come up and see them play softball. They hadn't seen me since he passed, and one I had never met, they asked me to bring Chad's best friend, our dog. I went after work, I had a great time, they asked me some things about his death they didn't know, and invited me up again. Next time the one wants us all to have dinner and get to know each other. I felt close to him by being with them and I enjoyed their company, especially since they are super dog people like me, it's a thing LOL. I was happy and content and felt good that if nothing else good came of this maybe I would have two new dog loving friends.

Two days later, we were forced to take my Aunt of life support. She had attempted suicide a week before, and there was nothing more the doctors could do. My family wouldn't let me in the hospital when they took her off, they didn't think I could handle it. I'm shattered all over again, the only solace is she is with my uncle again, the only place I think she has ever wanted to be. I wanted and needed Chad then, but I have a feeling he was up there making sure she was ok. God gave me broad shoulders but there is only so much someone can take.