I have been told by my stepson that his Dad has "talked " to him, but he hasn't said a word to me in a dream, vision, small voice or any other way. I desperately want something. I understand you feeling jealous that they have and you haven't. I sometimes wonder if it's even possible or if you can just think hard enough to imagine it, But, I did see my Dad 3 times after he died. He never spoke, just visions 2 times and 1 dream. I have smelled my husbands cologne downstairs where it would not normally be and have had a lamp in my living room blink on and off when my friend and I were talking about something that would have upset my husband because it was hurtful to me. I believe those were real, but sometimes during church I think I feel him sitting close next to me. That could just be wishful thinking on my part because I miss him so much and feel so alone. You are not silly. It is very normal to want and need some communication. Maybe in time when you are less raw he will be able to get through to you. Robyn

I write to my wife every night.. I talk to her constantly when I'm at home. I want so much to get some kind of "reply" I've even asked her. You are not being silly.

Sometimes I will put a little bit of her favorite perfume on my shirt so I can smell "her" like she gave me a hug.

Ugh.. Now I'm crying on the bus to work

I've always used a body pillow to sleep. One night, missing her, I got one of her shirts that still had her "smell" and pulled it over one end and cuddled with it (I can out-weird anybody). I got up the next morning and had my coffee, breakfast & did chores. Was still lagging so about 3 hours later went back to bed and the side with her shirt was still very warm.

Only problem with doing this is after awhile her shirts start smelling like ME!

No, you are not silly!! Shortly after Art passed away, his step daughter told me she had a dream about him. I got very jealous!! Well, I soon had 2 dreams and we were together in both of them. I don't feel him that much here in Arizona as I did at our other home in Ontario. But he is with me just as your husband is with you!!! Moodybruin, I sleep with the prayer shawl Pastor Neil brought up to the hospital for Art. I cuddle with it wishing it was Art instead but it brings me great comfort. I hope we all find some peace and comfort today!! Hugs Sue

Kate, You hurt so much you can't feel anything else. The pain obliterates everything. When you finally calm down some, you'll feel him.
Be gentle with yourself. He's with you.

I think Trici's right - initially the pain is so intense nothing gets through, and you hurt worse than anybody. I had no dreams or signs for awhile. I have had them many times since. He is a frequent dream visitor now. Try to take care of you, and don't focus on other people's experiences. They are not important.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Your beliefs could be playing a part or it could be the pain and suffering of your loss that plays a part. I am convinced that we are spiritual beings encased in a physical body. I feel no comfort at a grave because I feel they aren't there. In the early days of grief we miss the physical presence greatly, but the spiritual presence is never far. That is the essence of who we love.

I'm a Christian, but the beliefs of spiritual presence differs with all religions. It's a belief of the heart. In your case, you can find what you believe in your heart and find your own connection with this. Sharon