Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Since my husband passed away I had to learn so many things and do so many things I hardly ever did before.
I learnt how to deal with officialdom: tax, pensions, local council... Also had to book our car with the garage for maintenance checks, do simple
DIY in the house (I bought two books on the subject but I am not a natural), sorting out the shed and tools. I am now in the process of selling my house and buying something else so I have had to sort out estate agents, solicitors, surveys, etc. It is all very scary and I wish I had paid more attention to such things when my husband was alive as he dealt with all these things.
On the upturn I have also learnt that I can do most things (bar DIY) if I apply myself. I am scared but my courage does not let me down - still a bit of a battle but hopefully I will prevail. I appreciate my husband even more now for all the things he dealt with. I know he sees me struggling but I feel he is also helping to undertake all these tasks and helping me with the decisions I have to make.
I learnt how to deal with officialdom: tax, pensions, local council... Also had to book our car with the garage for maintenance checks, do simple
DIY in the house (I bought two books on the subject but I am not a natural), sorting out the shed and tools. I am now in the process of selling my house and buying something else so I have had to sort out estate agents, solicitors, surveys, etc. It is all very scary and I wish I had paid more attention to such things when my husband was alive as he dealt with all these things.
On the upturn I have also learnt that I can do most things (bar DIY) if I apply myself. I am scared but my courage does not let me down - still a bit of a battle but hopefully I will prevail. I appreciate my husband even more now for all the things he dealt with. I know he sees me struggling but I feel he is also helping to undertake all these tasks and helping me with the decisions I have to make.
Nessie from KY
Maggie
Car breakdowns
Plumbing problems
Lawn mower problems
Complicated tax returns
Wash-outs in my yard
Pot holes in my long driveway (dirt)
Strange dogs entering my yard and being aggressive
Trading vehicles
These are just some of the things I have done on my own now. I no longer fear being alone in handling breakdowns and challenges. I found that I just do one thing at a time and call a professional (or my son) when I can't handle something on my own. You find you are stronger than you ever knew.
You've heard the story of the woman who lifted a car up off her husband when it fell while he was working underneath? Your strength will rise to the occasion when needed! Congratulations on all you have handled on your own!
But while I know I knew how to do some things I always let the man do many more things. Boy have I learned a lot and do a lot I am lucky I think I have always been an outdoor country girl for all that I do. Than there are days I get exhausted....
I believe we always amaze ourselves.. widows and widowers....