I do understand what you are saying. I am to the point where I can live with it, but I will never be over it. I am different. My jar of grief is full, and it is all my grief. My husband isn't here to help me with it. I'll make it, and I'll have a new journey through life. I am planning a couple of trips, trying to start landscaping my property, and I'm moving on. But, there is also something missing. My answer to myself is, "That's life. It's how you handle it that makes the difference". That sucks. Pardon me.

There is no moving on, but moving forward, there is no getting back to normal, but a new normal with out our soulmates. There is no getting over it, it's just a matter of accepting we must carry on with life, until we get to meet our special loves when we leave this earth. I completely understand, and am very much in the same boat. After just barely over a year, I still ask to have him back. Much love, peace, and gentle hugs, carla

THANK YOU! You are so right. I often think,"unfair" but there are people out there much worse off than I am. I so appreciate your post. KK

I've come to terms with the fact that there is no getting over this. I can move forward and keep living. But I will always love him. Y heart will always have that place that is just his. But the heart has an unlimited capacity for love. The rest cam be filled too.

Well, not a one of us here that ever imagined how life would be without the love of our life by our side. Our imaginations are not that vivid, and this is one passage of my life that I'd just assume forget. But I'm coming to the conclusion that I will live with this loss for the rest of my days. Gosh, I'm just getting ready to turn 58. Sounds old to some of you, sounds still young to me, and if I was 78, I'd still say, "Sounds young to me". Age matters not when it comes to love and pain that comes with losing your love. It is a spiritual wound, a broken heart, and not anything any of us can just get over. You can't even describe it to anyone it hurts so bad. But we know, don't we? And when we meet someone that has also lost the love of their life, they know too without any words being spoken. I used to be upset when people didn't get what I was going through, but how could they? There is nothing like this in life -- I've seen my share of tragedies, but everything pales in comparison to this. So, what now in the years we have left? Just let life come. It's not going to stop and wait around for us to get healed. So embrace whatever time you have left, and do our best to make the most of it, and make it count for something. Or just enjoy the time we have left. I'm telling you, grief changes us, it has changed me and continues to chew me up and spit me out, and stomp on me kicks me where it hurts, but yet I keep getting up, and take another step, and if I fall, I crawl for a time, but eventually I get back up and just keep trying to live again. I know its hard, unbelievably hard, but we have no other choice. In some ways it is like when I quit drinking nearly 18 years ago. At first, it was staying sober minute by minute, hour by hour, then day by day, then month by month, then year by year. Time moves forward no matter how we chose to live it, and when enough little pieces are added up, we too will meet our end. The advantage of time to us now is each second takes us a little bit farther away from the source of our pain - the day we lost our other half. Hope this made some sense to someone out there -- God's blessings and comfort upon each and every one of you. Thanks for your post Raven, what you wrote hit a cord with me. ~~ Scottie

Scottie said it so well. The grief affects us in so many unbelievable Ways. There really is a physical piece to a broken heart I know you all know what I mean...that twisting feeling in your chest and your stomach. I have made sounds I didn't know a human could make. I have never contemplated suicide, but I absolutely understand why anyone in our position could think that way. Again Scottie nailed it when he said there isn't any pain on this earth like this.
One foot in front of the other...one day at a time, breathe and see what comes next.

This is from Quora:

When should someone be finished grieving?
Answer Wiki

Grief is an emotion and very personal. Therefore, there is no way to say that any one of us should be "finished" with our grieving. A life time is too short not to grieve over having lost a child, a parent, a spouse, a sibling. Death of a loved one changes everyone. Some in big ways and some in not so big ways, but change is what death brings. Adjusting ourselves to that change is personal. If the love for the deceased runs deep, you may always grieve at Holidays, for instance. My mother died 45 years ago, and I can still become despondent and shed tears when thinking of what all she missed by dying at age 46. Grief never leaves your heart.

I like your explanation, Raven, that your jar got bigger, expanded. Expanding life is what I'm guessing needs to be done for me, not even 3 weeks into this.

I'm pretty sure all of our loves who are gone would not want us to go through isolation, being lonely, fear, and the grief crazies forever. I'm right in the middle of the grief crazies, but I know this.

You are a hero to work with hospice patients. Takes a very special human to do that, and you are very, very needed. I certainly understand not knowing what our purpose is any more, but I see a very clear purpose with your talents. I hope to be able to find my purpose some day.

Thank you.

I agree. I don't see how anyone could ever see this as something you can get over. I remember the first few weeks I could only describe the feeling as an actual physical pain. I've loss family members before but this is completely different. I hade began calling it an amputation of the heart. Half my heart is gone. I know I'll see her again on that day. Right now I have to learn to live with it with help from God.
Peace, Tim

Scottie, that resonates in me ...you hit the nail on the head . I never could have fathomed this...until (sigh) until now :(

The only words I can add to this are........it does get easier. It gets more doable as each day passes. The tears still come; they don't last as long. The pain, in the depths of my soul doesn't literally take my breath away. The memories that used to bring a smile to my face are coming back to me now.

I stay away from people who don't have compassion for my senses!

I'm alone now but slowly, ever so slowly I'm realizing that I'm NOT lonely.

Roz