Widows & Widowers Support Group

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The good old days

Truhal
Truhal
I'd give anything to go back to the good old days. The good old days for me was when I hated the idea of marriage. I was one of those single gals who totally enjoyed the freedom. I had fully intended to remain single the rest of my life. And then I met the most wonderful man in the world. He was patient with me, realizing that it was commitment that scared me most of all. We got married twice, but it wasn't until I was born again that I truly appreciated marriage.

Now I long for the good old days of being happily single. I don't like misery and that's all I've got now. I know the old saying, 'it's better to love and lose then to never love at all', but I don't agree with it.

If I knew what awaited me, would I have fallen in love? Absolutely not. I know many would disagree, but I can't help it. I was once happy and I traded it in for 8 good years. Now, I've got about 40 years ahead of me if I live as long as most of my relatives. That's 40 years of misery that could have been happy years.
laurabp
laurabp
I am so sorry you are having this bad spell. There is probably nothing I can say that will make you feel better right now. However, I hope you will move forward to the point where those 8 years will feel precious and you will be very glad you had them, and the 40 projected years ahead will still be happy to some extent. laurabp
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know that your new life right now has you feeling miserable and I'm so sorry for that. I also hope that you will move forward and you'll realize that those 8 happy years will be some of the best years of your life and you wouldn't trade them. They were the "good old days".

I lost my husband to cardiac arrest in his sleep - no warning - my life was altered drastically in the blink of an eye. We had only 5 years together - but they were the best 5 years and I know that I wouldn't trade them for anything, and I can't imagine my life without those wonderful years.

Hugs to you,
Christine
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your loss is so new it's hard to see beyond the pain and I understand your thoughts. It's still hard for me too some days at 2 1/2 yrs. The memories of the illness and his passing still overshadow my happy memories. It is hard for me to remember those happy days with DH but I'm starting to some. My hope is that one day I can think of him and smile instead of cry. Others say they get to that stage. I wish you peace and comfort. Take care, Sandra
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess someday I will look back and talk about the old days. I really don't look forward to being old. The only memory/pictures of Todd I will have will be of this really good looking 29 year old Marine. That will be really strange when I'm like 60.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know it seems like that now but like the others have said some day you will be glad you had those years together, It is just hard to see the forest for the trees right now. I too am at almost 2 1/2 years and I would not have traded any of it even the arguing. I am sorry for your loss and pain I hope you find peace and one day happiness again.
Hugs Kath
LindaJean
LindaJean
I was married to the most amazing man I had ever met - and I miss him every day.

He died several years ago and now - even though I miss him dearly - can be grateful for the years I had him in my life.

You will get to that stage - absolutely. But the pain and the feeling of loss is blocking that right now. Some day you will be able to look back and smile.