Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
lost4heart
Raininseattle posted this on another topic chat, but I just had to copy it to a new topic to give it the attention it deserves. It has touched me so profoundly today as I try to make sense of who I am since Mark has gone. And the profound effect he had on my life.
THANK YOU RAININSEATTLE:
The Difference Between Soulmates and Life Partners
by Tanaaz
Soul Mate: Someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lesson has been learnt, physical separation usually occurs.
Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There is a mutual feeling of love and respect and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants.
Everyone wants to meet their Soulmate. In fact, one of the most common questions I receive in my readings and coaching sessions is- When am I going to meet my Soulmate?
We have many Soulmates in this life but their purpose is all the same- they are here to challenge and awaken us so our soul can evolve into a higher state of consciousness.
Our Soulmates always arrive when we are ready for them and not a moment sooner. They arrive when we are ready to learn the lessons that we were destined to fulfill.
Soulmate relationships are often not forever, this is because sometimes the relationship can be too intense or there is a certain karmic energy to the relationship that sees it come to a close once the necessary lessons have been learnt.
Soulmates can also be friends and relatives; they dont always have to be romantic partners. Regardless of this, you will always feel a strong, energetic connection or a past life history together.
Many of us spend years obsessing about meeting a Soulmate, but fail to notice what we are really asking for. When we ask for a Soulmate we are really asking to grow and develop in consciousness, and not understanding this can sometimes block the energy from coming to us.
If you really want to connect with a Soulmate, you need to align with your own soul. You need to discover who you are, honor yourself and begin following your heart. When you align with your true self, you are then instantly in the vibration of meeting your soul-mate.
Alternatively, if you are done with the soul lessons for now and are just looking for a companion to share the rest of your life with, what you want to be asking for, or manifesting is your Life Partner.
A Life Partner is more like a companion or friend that you feel a strong connection to. It may not be a deep, soul connection like a soul mate, but there would be a mutual feeling of trust, understanding and respect. A life partner is someone who is dependable and considerate of your needs and wants. Of course, a life partner is also someone that you are attracted to and that you love and care for.
While you will still be learning lessons from a life partner, they are more about lending support and giving you a guiding hand as you navigate through your own soul journey.
Meeting your Life Partner is usually not something you spiritually or energetically prepare yourself for like you would with a soulmate. Instead it requires emotional and mental preparation and physically putting yourself out there.
It is possible to have your Soulmate also be your Life Partner and it is also possible that you and your Life Partner can develop a deeper, soul connection- it all just depends on which direction you choose to steer.
Here are the different characteristics of each relationship:
Soulmate Relationship
- You feel a deep, spiritual connection to this person almost like you have known them for a long time.
- You have flashbacks or deja vu moments where you feel that you have been together before.
- You seem to understand each other and have a similar way of thinking.
- You may have similar flaws or habits, or you both had similar challenges during childhood.
- Your connection is intense and so too is the relationship. Often it can move from extreme highs to extreme lows.
- You feel in sync with each other even when you are not physically together. There may be a feeling of having to team up together to conquer something.
- You know intuitively what the other is thinking or feeling. You feel very in-tune and connected with their thoughts and actions.
- Your relationship is emotional, challenging and can bring things out in you that you didnt know existed.
- You may experience huge shifts and changes in your life when you first meet this person.
- Your relationship may not last forever but the love is always there.
Life Partner Relationship
- You feel attracted to each other physically and resonate with each others values.
- You enjoy getting to know each other and learn about your differences and similarities- everything about each other feels new and exciting.
- You get along like best friends- your relationship does not suffer from extremes.
- Your relationship is based on logical or intellectual decisions.
- You resonate with each others beliefs, ideas or religion/philosophy.
- You both feel a sense of financial and emotional stability by being together.
- Your relationship is based on being physically present and creating new memories.
- You feel the need to marry or start a family in order to cement your relationship.
At different times of our lives we will need and want different types of relationships. Neither is better or worse than the other, it is all a personal decision and one that you will feel guided to as long as you are following your heart. "
THANK YOU RAININSEATTLE:
The Difference Between Soulmates and Life Partners
by Tanaaz
Soul Mate: Someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lesson has been learnt, physical separation usually occurs.
Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There is a mutual feeling of love and respect and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants.
Everyone wants to meet their Soulmate. In fact, one of the most common questions I receive in my readings and coaching sessions is- When am I going to meet my Soulmate?
We have many Soulmates in this life but their purpose is all the same- they are here to challenge and awaken us so our soul can evolve into a higher state of consciousness.
Our Soulmates always arrive when we are ready for them and not a moment sooner. They arrive when we are ready to learn the lessons that we were destined to fulfill.
Soulmate relationships are often not forever, this is because sometimes the relationship can be too intense or there is a certain karmic energy to the relationship that sees it come to a close once the necessary lessons have been learnt.
Soulmates can also be friends and relatives; they dont always have to be romantic partners. Regardless of this, you will always feel a strong, energetic connection or a past life history together.
Many of us spend years obsessing about meeting a Soulmate, but fail to notice what we are really asking for. When we ask for a Soulmate we are really asking to grow and develop in consciousness, and not understanding this can sometimes block the energy from coming to us.
If you really want to connect with a Soulmate, you need to align with your own soul. You need to discover who you are, honor yourself and begin following your heart. When you align with your true self, you are then instantly in the vibration of meeting your soul-mate.
Alternatively, if you are done with the soul lessons for now and are just looking for a companion to share the rest of your life with, what you want to be asking for, or manifesting is your Life Partner.
A Life Partner is more like a companion or friend that you feel a strong connection to. It may not be a deep, soul connection like a soul mate, but there would be a mutual feeling of trust, understanding and respect. A life partner is someone who is dependable and considerate of your needs and wants. Of course, a life partner is also someone that you are attracted to and that you love and care for.
While you will still be learning lessons from a life partner, they are more about lending support and giving you a guiding hand as you navigate through your own soul journey.
Meeting your Life Partner is usually not something you spiritually or energetically prepare yourself for like you would with a soulmate. Instead it requires emotional and mental preparation and physically putting yourself out there.
It is possible to have your Soulmate also be your Life Partner and it is also possible that you and your Life Partner can develop a deeper, soul connection- it all just depends on which direction you choose to steer.
Here are the different characteristics of each relationship:
Soulmate Relationship
- You feel a deep, spiritual connection to this person almost like you have known them for a long time.
- You have flashbacks or deja vu moments where you feel that you have been together before.
- You seem to understand each other and have a similar way of thinking.
- You may have similar flaws or habits, or you both had similar challenges during childhood.
- Your connection is intense and so too is the relationship. Often it can move from extreme highs to extreme lows.
- You feel in sync with each other even when you are not physically together. There may be a feeling of having to team up together to conquer something.
- You know intuitively what the other is thinking or feeling. You feel very in-tune and connected with their thoughts and actions.
- Your relationship is emotional, challenging and can bring things out in you that you didnt know existed.
- You may experience huge shifts and changes in your life when you first meet this person.
- Your relationship may not last forever but the love is always there.
Life Partner Relationship
- You feel attracted to each other physically and resonate with each others values.
- You enjoy getting to know each other and learn about your differences and similarities- everything about each other feels new and exciting.
- You get along like best friends- your relationship does not suffer from extremes.
- Your relationship is based on logical or intellectual decisions.
- You resonate with each others beliefs, ideas or religion/philosophy.
- You both feel a sense of financial and emotional stability by being together.
- Your relationship is based on being physically present and creating new memories.
- You feel the need to marry or start a family in order to cement your relationship.
At different times of our lives we will need and want different types of relationships. Neither is better or worse than the other, it is all a personal decision and one that you will feel guided to as long as you are following your heart. "
I do think it erroneous to minimize those things listed under "Life Partner" inasmuch as love in later life will tend to reflect all those qualities as we as individual human beings tend to mellow and find out balance and stability.
Both of my husbands are my soulmates and life partners.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
The next weekend a bunch of us girls were at a Diner where every one hung out.
He walked in and came over to our table and sat by me. He asked me out that night. We were married a year and a half later.
We used to kid how we shared a brain, I would be thinking Chinese Food sounds good for dinner and a minute later he would say the same thing. This happened hundreds of times over the 50 years we were married. I miss him every minute of everyday.
It's will be a year 6/14/16. Lately I've been feeling more at peace. I hope it lasts. We weren't perfect but we were perfect for each other.
I know I'll see him again. Happy Trails...Gail
I went for my first therapy today and of course diagnosed with PTSD from both Mark's illness and also his death and complicated grief. Because in this process of grief I lost also those who should have been there to support me. Instead, I had to push away certain family members who would not have a good effect on my life.
So I am mourning about 5 people all at one time. But it is for my own protection.
Anyway one step forward.
Luv to you all.
Xx
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/5057601/journal
They are different in my opinion. I can only speak for myself, and admittedly not a lot of experience to lean on. The best description I can offer about my partner is that her soul and mine are like mirror images of each other. A lot of it is instinctive and I can't explain them properly. I just knew. I can't read anyone else's mind, but I can read her eyes. Her and my thought process and emotional makeup are pretty much the same...
I don't see this article is trying to minimize the relationship of life partners... I see qualities of her being a life partner as well. But she is predominantly my soulmate because of the intensity and that instinctive connection. Just grateful that someone is able to put it in words of our connection.
I learned so SO much from Mark! SO much I never would've learned any other way. He was beautiful, remarkable, captivating, free and adventurous....but the pendulum would swing the other way with the alcohol
I've told the story here before I'm sure your all getting sick of reading it.My sister introduced us. We had 2 dates total of being together 8 hours. Never talked on the phone. He called me Monday January 24th 1972told me he got a 5 cent raise at work would I marry him. No hehesitation I said yes. First date was Jan 15.
He bought me my diamond the next week. I was 18 with very stricked parents so only wore it at his house.
Big blow up with my Dad I told Ken I want my ring.
That was April 28/72 . Ken did ask my father for his blessing. They asked us to wait a year. We did to the day we married April 28 1973.
I just knew first time I laid eyes on him he was mine and he the same.
2 children, 4 grand children 2 great grandchildren. I lost the love of my life March 12 2011 after one month shy of 38 years married .
We are soul mates there will be no other my love for him is just as strong if not stronger.
Still miss him like it was yesterday.
We were each others BF . We did everything together never separately
Cliff is forever a part of who I am. And I fell for him at first sight - took him a bit longer though! LOL... Our relationship was very intense - sometimes intensely bad, too. I call it "my past imperfect." I used to read our horoscopes for fun, and once it said that his sign and my sign in a relationship would be "all sparks - one way or another" because we were both fire signs. I know horoscopes are hooey, but dang that was pretty accurate! Loving each other for so many years - 30 years altogether - molded both of us into who we became. We changed each other.
And Rainin, I get what you're saying. Sometimes it is hard describe that kind of closeness to other people. Cliff and I spoke in shorthand - one of us wiuld start a sentence and the other would finish it, and sometimes it would just be one word apiece and we'd still know what the other meant. Crazy....
Love and Hugs,
Martha
Now I have a redneck Pat (always his description, not mine.) Totally different man, totally different interactions, but same result. I want to spend my life with him. I enjoy our day to day routine, he pushes me to be the best I can be, he has expanded my horizons. I don't doubt that we are meant to be together, nor do I doubt that we were meant to be with our deceased spouses.
I don't think about eternity or the future, I concentrate on the here and now, and try to let the future take care of itself. I guess to me it is about the same thing.
Hugs,
Val
Always Sue
We stared in our senior year when we were 16 years old, and we were together for 42 years, 34 of them married. She was my everything.
Juan