Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
The other day I walked through the house I'm planning to buy with my house inspector. As I did so, I found myself thinking how blessed I am to be able to get a house.
Last week I was watching television--a favorite show of my husband--and I found myself thinking how blessed I am to still be able to see the show, especially with my near brush with blindness.
And finally, as I stood for countless hours at work, bored out of my skull, I thought how wonderful I still have a job.
In all the above incidents, I've expressed gratitude at my situation, knowing it could be far worse. But now I see a deeper meaning. I've been putting bandages on my life.
I see the analogy like this: If you fall, and scar your knee, you're in pain and maybe you're even bleeding, so you put a bandage on it and you're thankful you had something nice and clean to put there while you heal. Still, you feel pain. Still the scar is there, but you can't see it because there's the bandage.
So, here I am, one year and three months later and all I have to show for my accomplishment is a bandage. I get the house, I can afford cable, and I have a job, but God help me, I'm still struggling with the pain beneath the bandage.
Just venting.
Last week I was watching television--a favorite show of my husband--and I found myself thinking how blessed I am to still be able to see the show, especially with my near brush with blindness.
And finally, as I stood for countless hours at work, bored out of my skull, I thought how wonderful I still have a job.
In all the above incidents, I've expressed gratitude at my situation, knowing it could be far worse. But now I see a deeper meaning. I've been putting bandages on my life.
I see the analogy like this: If you fall, and scar your knee, you're in pain and maybe you're even bleeding, so you put a bandage on it and you're thankful you had something nice and clean to put there while you heal. Still, you feel pain. Still the scar is there, but you can't see it because there's the bandage.
So, here I am, one year and three months later and all I have to show for my accomplishment is a bandage. I get the house, I can afford cable, and I have a job, but God help me, I'm still struggling with the pain beneath the bandage.
Just venting.
SORRY but it truly ticks me off....when it does....
My wound was healing wonderfully, until something ripped the scab off. Now I am somewhat struggling every day with gripping fear and anxiety, and can't put a finger on it, and don't try. If you feed into anxiety, it only gets larger. So, I sit, take a deep breath, tell myself I am OK, it's going to be fine, one day at a time girl, and I even out. Temporarily, but I even out.
Maggie
L
Someday, it will be better...it just has to!