It takes time to adjust. Keep doing for others. Those thoughts will pop in your head and eventually, you answer them. I'm going on 18 months and don't feel lonely most of the time. When I do, I try to get very quiet and listen to my feelings. This is my life, as God chose for me. Hopefully, you get there too. I doubt you have much alone time with 3 people to take care of. I enjoy the alone time because it allows me to reflect on me and get to know me.

No advice, Just a big hug for you! I do know how you feel and it hurts so much. I am hoping for better days ahead and new changes one day. One foot in front of the other thats all we can do. And pray.

I can certainly relate. I think that way sometimes. If I get sick and go to the doctor, I think "I have nobody who cares how I feel and to ask me what the doctor said." I do have family, but it was my husband who really cared about my well-being and who I meant so much to. I just hope this is part of the grief process and will pass in time. Hugs, Norma

Dear Marsha, how well I know this feeling. I am totally alone, no children, no family. Nobody to hug or laugh or cry with. We have to get busy, I found a cause I am fighting for and it became my passion.... I meditate a lot lately... I miss having family so much but my family was always small, most killed in the Holocaust so it was always just me and my parents until they passed away, no cousins or uncles. Do we get used to being lonely? No, we have to somehow find ways to be passionate about something important. And make few good friends. You have your grandchildren and they are an apple of your eye, make them your passion, they care what happens to you.

I think it is part of the process and "normal" to have these thoughts. I have, and still do at times, wonder who would miss me? What if I was in a terrible accident or keeled over here at home, it would be days or maybe a week before anyone knew. I think we all must find our own answer, for me I talk to myself and to God. I hold my faith close to heart and know that are there are a few good friends that would miss me and I know God will take care of me as he always has.

Like many here I have no family, it is just me and Little Man but everyday I am learning to accept the challenges of life that we all experience. I like thinking that I as a widow am blessed more than the average human for the opportunity to share 28 years, 3 months and 6 days with one of God's most precious angels. It helps me most when I am hurting.

Sorry, didn't mean to preach...I think Little Man gets tired of my conversations at times and thought I would give him a small break this morning. I pray for you and all of us to find comforting answers. Much Love and Many Hugs-Jewley

Thank you all. I do know this goes with the territory, and at times, I feel so overwhelmed by it. It helps to know that there are wonderful people, like all of you, that are out there and understand even though I am truly
sorry for the reason you understand.

Hi! Marsh,
Same here in Australia, went out with arnd daughter who I am bringing up (8) and thought the same, no one knows who I am , where we come from etc. I have instructions hanging on the notice board for her to phone if anything happens to me ( ambulance, police etc) and finally part of the family who really dont want to know anyway.When Steve was here I felt so secure and safe now I feel so lost and vulnerable. Its frightening. I'm not much help for you my friend but I AM here for you with hugs, prayers and if I turn up with info I will pass it on. Your mate in Oz. Val

I'm still working on that one. I have friends who would look, but no one like a parent or husband. If I get sick I'll have to deal with it on this earthly plan by myself.

My doctor suggested some medical test recently. I turned her down. She said we need to check for the usual bad things. I pointed out that should I get sick there would be no one to drive me or make sure I don't die in my sleep. Yes I have a step-daughter who would care, but I will not disrupt her life.

To be absent in the flesh is to be present with the Lord(2 Cor 5:8). I'm ready should it come to that.

I don't have any advice Marsha. I haven't gotten past that part yet either and don't think I ever will. I am totally alone with no one other than neighbors. I've thought about the fact that if I get sick there will be nobody to care for me. No one to check the bedroom and say "how are you doing? Can I bring you anything? Etc. I won't have any medical tests either because it really doesn't matter. I wouldn't take steps to correct any problem anyway. Just want all the sadness to end. Hugs to you my friend. You are so wonderful to care for your grandchildren and handicapped son.

I've felt this way many times throughout my life, it didn't matter how many people I knew or knew me. That empty feeling hits and it's like seeing life for what it really is. I have noticed that something sets it off usually, seeing the sunlight at a certain angle does it for me. It kicks off past memories of things I miss and memories of failures and stupid things I did. It's always the same. I looked this up and found that if you turn your full attention on it when it first starts, it's usually a sinking feeling for me, you can stop it before it pulls you down. I've tried it and it does work but sometimes, I just fall right off the cliff before I know what's happening. Takes practice I guess. The word "isolation" carries such a rotten connotation these days too.

Guess I too am feeling the no one knows or cares where I am right now and it's scary. I have a couple of friends who seem to check on me daily, but I always knew my husband was there for me no matter what happened so I was never scared. Now it seems I am scared all the time. I sleep with all the lights on and lock and re lock the doors. I never sleep for more than an hour at a time and seldom feel like eating. I try. Yesterday I felt sick all day and realized I had to take care of myself. No family, 2 stepsons who have their own lives to live and they lost their Dad too so don't want to bother them. This adjustment to a new normal alone is very very hard and I don't want to have to make this adjustment. Just want my husband back.