Chad was a mamas boy, he told me that early on. He was very close with his mother. At her birthday we sent her flowers and couldn't pick between two arrangements. He finally said Kim, send this one, lets send these next time. Well he passed away before next time came. I decided that she should have the flowers he wanted her to have. So I called the florist and asked for a favor, I needed two cards, one from him and the other from me explaining that he actually picked this arrangement for her and I just wanted to make sure she got it.

Since he was a child his mom read him this book called Love you Forever. This past birthday was the only year she didn't read it to him (his 30th). His line to her was always

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.

I shortened it, to I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always... and signed it with his name. I barely made it off the phone with the florist before I completely broke down. I knew I had to do this for him, but it was heartbreaking all over again.

I know this will be a hard day for her, which is the day after her huge Kentucky Derby Party, his favorite holiday of the year. I'll be there and its all going on just like before, because he would want it, but I know when everyone leaves and the house is cleaned up her focus will go to the one day I know she doesn't want to come, just like I was with Valentines Day. I know this will hurt her, but I also hope it brings her comfort, after all, her baby picked them out, I merely paid for them, apparently Visas from heaven don't go through with the new chips