Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I just wanted to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone here for your support and kind words.
I know in the real world, I couldn't speak so openly about my thoughts and feelings. This is an awful hard road we are on.
I read posts about what some think are insensitive remarks from people. Honestly if I had not experienced this widowhood experience I would say words that might hurt some, not intentionally but not knowing what to say and wanting to say something to make the person feel better. Until you are where we are you just don't know.
If I was asked before I lost Ray how I'd handle being a widow, I really wouldn't have thought it was anything like it is. I have been divorced before so I would most likely think of it in those terms. But it isn't anything like a divorce, as we all know. I am a person I never knew I would or could be.
I am so tired of crying, so tired of not wanting to be around anyone yet knowing I need to be. Until now I didn't kow just how much I loved Ray and so enjoyed our time together.
Coming up to my 1 month without Ray, seems like he should be in the Living room right now, yet seems like he's been gone forever. I look at his picture over the woodburner, just stare at it, every line every detail..so familiar yet so long ago that I embrassed him. I'm so not cut out for this..are any of us?
I know in the real world, I couldn't speak so openly about my thoughts and feelings. This is an awful hard road we are on.
I read posts about what some think are insensitive remarks from people. Honestly if I had not experienced this widowhood experience I would say words that might hurt some, not intentionally but not knowing what to say and wanting to say something to make the person feel better. Until you are where we are you just don't know.
If I was asked before I lost Ray how I'd handle being a widow, I really wouldn't have thought it was anything like it is. I have been divorced before so I would most likely think of it in those terms. But it isn't anything like a divorce, as we all know. I am a person I never knew I would or could be.
I am so tired of crying, so tired of not wanting to be around anyone yet knowing I need to be. Until now I didn't kow just how much I loved Ray and so enjoyed our time together.
Coming up to my 1 month without Ray, seems like he should be in the Living room right now, yet seems like he's been gone forever. I look at his picture over the woodburner, just stare at it, every line every detail..so familiar yet so long ago that I embrassed him. I'm so not cut out for this..are any of us?
Cry, grieve, express your emotions . . all very well and good, but sometimes we all need a break from grief work as it is a difficult journey.
I'm very proud of you for expressing your feelings and emotions so directly here with us on DS. You are open to your feelings and acknowledging them, very cathartic.
We are here listening . . . just know you are not alone. Big hug and thoughts of healing coming your way. xo, D
~ Lori
I have a new theory that for me, those five stages of grief (that are kind of misquoted and misinterpreted sometimes) seem like they actually happen again every day. By that I mean that if you want to think about going through anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance, I feel like I go through the whole cycle each day. There are parts of each day where I feel each of those different things. And I feel that's the way it should be. I'm adjusting to a whole new life and it is shocking, upsetting, sad, horrible, and I have to accept it (again, and again, and again).
But writing and reading here is helping in many ways. I hope you are doing ok today.