Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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Terrors

Savannah17
Savannah17

I'm feeling the fear, the paranoia, the pain in my chest. These come on and off, when least expected. They don't care if I'm driving, at work or taking a pleasant walk on a sunny day. Sudden terror. The jarring car crash that wakes me out a sound sleep. The sense of danger that cannot be quelled. I take deep breaths, tap my feet, recognize that I'm on safe, firm ground, but it doesn't seem to matter. It's there.  The suffocating fear. Hoping it will pass.

AfterMom
AfterMom
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” With his first line, of CS Lewis’s A Grief Observed.

So, I dare say: The Deepest of Grief is closer to Terror.
Missmyanne
Missmyanne
I too know that pain your feeling around your heart. It feels like it's boring a hole in your chest. I'm sure we all feel that. Let us all hope over time that pain will diminish.
VWTDIFAN
VWTDIFAN
I get that to although not as bad as you describe. While driving twenty minutes ago I felt a panic surge coming on. Deep breaths took care of it.

A couple of years ago I got hit by an oncoming truck with the family in the car. We were all ok thankfully, but for months I would almost panic when meeting another oncoming vehicle. In time it faded.
scottito
scottito
Sounds like panic attacks. My wife had those for many years due to a severe hormonal imbalance. And I know of one person here that was diagnosed with that thing soldiers get, PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome). You might want to talk to your doctor about it. If it gets out of control, there might be a treatment available. Hang in there. Nothing worse than the reason we all are here. It sucks. ~~~ Scottie
Savannah17
Savannah17
Thank you for the kind words and advice, everyone. They are panic attacks, but worse than I've ever had since the car accident that killed my husband and 4 cats. I started seeing a therapist who specializes in PTSD and grief and she's already giving me some deep breathing exercises to help calm the panic. The first couple weeks after the accident, I would get full body tremors--absolutely terrifying, something I felt I could not control. At least I don't get those anymore.
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