Annie,
I too, had hesitancy before I went to Grief Share group. I really had to push myself, to go.
The first night I went, I was feeling really strong and able.i
After introductions we all had to give a brief account of our loss.
Out of the blue, I lost my composure. It came from nowhere!
I was the only person who did that. I noticed though, it changed the initial feeling in the the room. I think it broke a barrier. We all started to relax more.
The facilitator in these groups can make or break the group. The seem to have the control, mainly because of time limits.
After going for 5 weeks of so, I can honestly say it is an added help,
For me to be able to mix with people who are going through the same thing.
Some of us get together for coffee, and keep in touch. That was the big bonus for me, it was a chance to meet other people.
Annie, I think you should be bold and go, if it's not for you, then leave.
Sorry for your loss.
Let us know how it goes,
Big hugs for you,
Sandra

Annie,
I have said this many times before, my main group is here at Daily Strength.
As time goes by this group means so much to me, each person in it is so special. If we only we could all have a big meet up, it would be Great.
Just a thought!
Another hug for you,
Sandra

Have been going to a support group for 2 weeks now 1 time a week. I was worried I would cry a puddle and have a meltdown but actually it has been helpful. In my group there isn't a lot of crying but sincere sharing and encouragement for each other. The leader of the group does make a difference. You do meet people who you can meet for coffee or lunch who understand your unstable emotions which is what your current circle doesn't understand. Take a leap of faith and go. Give it a couple of weeks to decide if it is right for you as the first meeting is really just a find out about everyone.. I think this kind of grief is so intense that you need layers of different kinds of support to get through it. As many different layers as you can find. Good luck.

Annie:
I waited six months before I had the nerve to try a support group. I was very anxious. When the group leader asked me if I wanted to speak I said NO! Others took over and then it came back to me. I broke down and everyone supported me. That support group a great source of comfort and healing for me. It is now over, but I have a wonderful group of friends.

I've never been to a support group but I think I'd have the same feelings that you do. Rather than a group setting I had hoped to to find someone in the same situation as I am & we could be supportive of each other in private emails, just sharing how our lives are going, etc. Coming on DS has helped somewhat. My one thought to share with you is, check out the group & if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, you can always leave. Chances are the support group will be very considerate.

I attended a hospice support group for two years. At first I was nervous but after that and I got to know everyone we formed a bond. As a group we even determined the focus of the group which was how to move forward and problem solving. We did not spend much time on the past. This is exactly what I needed and we all quit the group at the same time when the facilitator changed. We felt it was time. We're still Facebook friends.

go into it with an open mind and let the group take you where you need to go. Good luck.

Nessie from KY

I attended a few early on. It was a monthly under 50 loss of spouse group. I didn't really have a problem going and sharing. My problem was that after a few it felt like the same topics were being discussed each month. I ended up going to four sessions then stopped as I didn't feel I was getting anything out of it. I also think that at 34 at the time I was still one of the youngest there. I now go to a bi-weekly group with my daughter. It's more for her as it is for kids of varying ages that have experienced the loss of someone significant in their lives. Most have lost parents but it can be siblings, etc. While she does her thing (which she loves) the parents have their own group. I still think I'm one of the youngest there but it is a little more relatable since everyone is there with a child. Like the other group, I'm not really into this one but my daughter really enjoys it and at 4 years old if it helps her express grief and whatnot then I'll continue to suck it up for as long as she wants to go.

Annie,

My husband, Jim, passed away on October 2nd and I attended my first grief counseling meeting on October 20th. I was asked to arrive a few minutes early, so that the facilitator could ask me a few questions. I cried and was barely able to answer her questions. I was told however, that if I didn't feel like talking during the meeting, I didn't have to, as it wasn't a requirement. just listening to the others would be a big help. There were two other new members that night, as well. We all wound up seated together and when one of them next to me began to talk, she broke down into tears. Her husband had passed in May of this year. I had to get my purse and pull out the tissues to offer her. I was introduced, but declined to speak at that time, as I didn't want to cry in front of the others. However, at each meeting, there were those who were as many as four years out and they still cried when speaking of their spouses. Even now, I still cry, when I have to speak about my beloved Jim. I am 53 days out and cry every few minutes, day and night, still. Our local organization sponsored a dinner event, "Hope for the Holidays", which was well put together, but I was unable to do anything but cry continuously, during the entire event. Those around me held my hand, stroked my back and hugged me, all comforting for me. The people at these meetings have been where you are emotionally and know that it is perfectly normal, as well as healthy and healing for you to cry whenever the mood hits you. Sometimes at work, I have to run to the bathroom for a good cry, but everyone here is understanding of my raw emotions. So, go to the meeting and cry all you want. I promise the members will all understand, won't criticize and will be more than happy to comfort you and help you at this sad time of your life. Some of the ladies call me during the week to check on my condition. They have all been a real comfort for me, as has this website.

I would advise you try it. If you don't like it, simply leave and do not go back. I attended one about 3 times and always felt worse afterward than I did before I went in so I just stopped going.

A six week workshop based on the book "Understanding Your Grief" was recommended. It was wonderful. I think the word "understanding" is key.

It has been 5 years since I lost my husband. I did attend three different grief support groups at different times. The last one I attended I meet another widow who is now a dear friend and we helped each other through our grief. We are good friends now and still can talk about our losses. I am glad I went to that group.

I went to 3 different support groups and the third was the one that I found to be a good fit. As others have said the facilitator is a very important aspect(Mine has been widowed 10 years). This group was all widows and widowers as opposed to people who lost other family members. It ran for 8 weeks but then we continued to meet informally for coffee over the last year. I was very nervous the first meting but like here on DS they will get your feelings and emotions. For me having a live grief group and DS was a very powerful combination. Best of luck to you, You will quickly know if it works for you or not. Gerry

Annie,
I went to hospice widowed group after my husband died. I cried and it wasn't a total meltdown. Some took time before talking and that was okay too. This is Your journey and you will travel it the way that's best for you. Don't give that power away. We support each other here in whatever way we choose to get through this, your group should be the same. I found the release of having others sitting beside me was great.

I also made a friend and we hung out together. Give it a try. Sharon

It depends on the group. My first group was not a good fit for me and it was at my church where I have been for thirty years. I knew I needed to be in one. I was told about a group at a church not far from my home and I joined in March. I am always excited to go and feel uplifted after I attend. We have bonded in our grief and have shared without being judged. The interactive projects are healing and I have been helped greatly. I have the best of both worlds, Daily Strength and my monthly meeting.

I started with a support group about 2-3 months after my wife passed. This group was all people who had lost a spouse as had the facilitators. They understood what I was going through and no one judged anyone else. I would highly recommend it.
Russ

I go to a grief support group and they have helped me so much. A group for widows and widowers. You do not have to speak unless you want to. I could not and did not talk at my first meeting. We always have a box of tissue in the middle of the table and our facilitator tells anyone new that at one time or other we have all used the tissues. We laugh. We cry and we all understand what others are going through. After the meeting we go out to lunch together if you want to. It is a good way to get to know the others. Most people stay in the group for a year. After that they have a friendship group that meets once a month for lunch. A good way to stay in touch. I say go and try the group. I love DS and it has been such a help to me but I need the support group too.