Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Sunday Nights and Days Like Mother's Day are Hard

exploringgrief
exploringgrief

Am I the only one who struggles with Sunday nights?  And days like Mother's Day?  By 4pm today I was searching for everything and anything that might help me shake the sadness that was setting in.  


Mary has been gone for just over 4 months.  Most days I would say I am getting better.  Sometimes I am driving home from work and realize that I was really engrossed in work that day.  Like I had purpose and focus.    And that seems to be happening more.


But for whatever reason, Sunday evening is so hard.  I went for a bicycle ride tonight.  I couldn't help myself...I rode past the townhome Mary lived in when I met her.  I knew it would make me even sadder.  But I needed to see it, to somehow feel closer to her.  Not so sure that was a wise idea.  By the time I got home I was in a bad place.  So I crawled into bed at 7:15!  And here I am, writing on this support site, trying to find anything to help me get through the night.  


I sure hope this gets better soon.  

Msbklyn
Msbklyn
I was texting with my niece today who has lost many family members and said wish we could have a year with no holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. She responded "sign me up". These days are the roughest, usually I can't wait for them to be over. This one was rough for other reasons but I'm always missing my husband on these days and yea, the sadness does set in. You just have to get through them, I have found the next day I get back to my usual, whatever that is for the moment. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you
musicstrings
musicstrings
I feel for you! Been a weeping day for me too! I think it’s hard to visit places we spent with our loved ones and I really wish I had some great advice for you. I watch videos of George and I know before I even turn it on I will be sad but I can’t help myself. I’m hoping someday I’ll be able to watch without crying. Hang in there tomorrow is another day and hopefully better for all of us!
lostmytruelove
lostmytruelove
Sunday’s are especially hard for me also because that is the night my husband took his last breath. It’s been 4 months and like you sometimes I feel like things are getting better but then Sunday comes and I just wish the day away. I started going to a grief support group and that helps a little. The tears have not stopped falling and I don’t know if they ever will. I hope that tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. I wish I had more answers but I think like you we can only take one day at a time. Sometimes one hour or one minute. Hugs to you.
exploringgrief
exploringgrief
I think it is interesting that despite knowing it will cause sadness, we intentionally do things that remind of us of our lover. Not sure exactly what our mind is doing at that moment. Maybe our mind just has to keep doing that until we can do it and feel joy and then we know we are better? Or maybe it reflects an inability to let go yet?
As an update to my Sunday post, Monday was much better. I guess I thought I would somehow be immune to that age old "holiday firsts". I sent a note to our Pastor on Sunday afternoon. It was before the sadness had set in so it actually was an expression of happiness. But she commented that this will be a year of firsts and those are always hard. How right she was!