He sees you and you are still the most beautiful woman on the planet to him and to others. Beauty is not a physical trait, beauty is from within and with all that you have on your plate, you are shining through . You are not taking the easiest road but instead are doing what needs to be done. I can only imagine how painful it is to have lost your husband and also your daughter . Yes you have lost your daughter to drugs and I hope that things will resolve themselves and that she will get help. I am sending you positive thoughts for your continued courage xoxo

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this on top of losing your husband. I wish I could say something more, but it is just awful, and words cannot make it better or easier. I do hope that she cleans up or at least leaves you alone...

So sorry to read what you are going through. Although we may not always have the answer to the problem, we do have compassion and the willingness to listen. So please come back often, even if it's just to let off steam.

Wishing you peace . . .

Gail, it does seem as though life just keeps piling on more crap when we are the most vulnerable. Hang in there. You will come out at the end so strong. I am proud of you for making sure your family is safe. Don't know who started this meth crud, but they should be shot. Life is difficult enough without the burden of addiction. Hugs and Love to you, Michele

I know it's hard, but you have done what is the best thing you can do not just for the kids but for your daughter, too. Eventually she will be picked up and in custody she may finally be able to get clean. I hope so, and I hope you and the little ones get some rest and some peace.

Sending you BIG Hugs and Love,
Martha

I am so sorry for the added grief in your life but you should be proud of yourself to be able to get these things done when they are needed. I have often been told that I am a strong woman but sometimes it is so hard to be strong and so tiring and for once you would like not to have to be the strong one but unfortunately in some cases it is our lot in life. I hope your issues are resolved soon and maybe you can get some rest.
My thoughts are with you

Rant away. Drug or alcohol addiction are horrible. I am glad you have the strength to not enable her. I hope that being able to come to this site gives you strength. Hugs Patti

Gail, my heart is breaking over your situation. With our son, he spent 10 years in active addiction of cocaine and heroin, and we prayed for him that whole time. Up until Juanita died, I know that was the hardest thing I'd ever had to deal with my whole life. It is selfishness at its worst because the real harm is done to the rest of the family. I so remember that pain. As with a lot of addicts, you lose your humanity and become almost animalistic. She can't think now, just living long enough to score her next hit.

It's not the real her that is doing this - it is that drug that is running your daughter's life right now. I remember about 9 years into our son's addiction, he came to visit us. Well, I said something that set him off, and he went into attack mode to start fighting me. Well, I ended it by my banning him from ever stepping foot in our home until he got clean. God, that was so hard on Juanita. We didn't see him again for a full year, not knowing where he was, if he in prison or jail if he was lucky, or if he was dead. It was hell for us. But then Lord told Juanita she would see him again on Easter day, and sure enough, he showed up, wanting to get clean.

Seventeen years ago, it was because of his addiction that I was able to quit drinking. My wife and I took him to an NA meeting when we learned the truth about his addiction. I continued daily meetings there for the next 2 years, and I learned some things. First, you've got to let them hit their bottom, hoping and praying that they don't die first. They call it "tough love". But they have to come to a point that they want to stop themselves. Nothing you can ever say that will make them stop. I believe meth to be the worst of all the drugs - it is pure evil. I've ministered to a number of meth heads through the years, and have seen first hand the destruction it does. And I believe it to be the most addictive of all the drugs out there. But don't lose hope Gail, because I've seen some who have recovered and stayed clean. I work with one now, but we had to fire twice before because of her meth addiction. Like you said, your daughter kicked it once and was a blessing to you early on in your grief. So she can do it again, but she has to get to the place where she wants it gone from her life.

Ours has a happy ending. Through it all, our son found God and got delivered about 7 years ago. He is now teaching poetry at a university, and his works are prestigously published. He now has a blessed life with a wonderful wife and 3 children. Constant prayer is all you can do.

I thank God that you have her kids - they so need your love and strength now and I know that they are so very scared. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you while you are still in the throws of grief for your husband. And now you are grieving the loss of your daughter as well. But for the sake of your grandkids, you've got to reach deep inside yourself to find a strength you didn't know you had. You can do this Gail. We are all here for you. Believe me when I say, I know how hard this is for you right now. My prayers are with you ~ Scott

There is also a group here at DS for "Family & Friends of Addicts" which you might want to check out. Here is a link to that board:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Families-and-Friends-Of-Addicts/support-group

It's perfectly okay to belong to more than one board, too. I belong to different ones for different challenges in my life. Hope this helps....