survived the 2nd year anniversary of my husbands death. we were married 29 years. were together since we were teens. we were a happy couple always together always laughing always sharing everything. we raised two beautiful daughters and were looking forward to empty nesting and eventually retiring  

my issue is im still in a deep unmotivated funk. i fake it really well, but it’s all an act. i cannot fund any joy in anything. i’m not motivated to clean or remove my husbands things. I feel like i’m just going thru the motions and when i come home from work. i literally just want to sit in his recliner and stay there till I go to bed and then i repeat the same thing the next day.  

I am sad and at a loss as what to do next in my life. people forget. friends suddenly don’t seek you out anymore. it’s sad but so easy to isolate. i feel like something has got to happen, or i’m gonna go crazy. i’m even considering selling my home and getting something smaller. moving. maybe changing states. i don’t know. changing jobs. something. i need something to get me out of this zombie-like state. 

im a christian and i know God has helped me through this. but even my serving at church and my studying has stopped. because i don’t have the desire to do anything. even my prayer life has suffered. 

people who haven’t lost a spouse especially a loving, good, kind and considerate spouse cannot understand the depth of my pain. i feel like i half died. (that would explain the zombie like feeling). in searching for some kind of support group i found this site. i’m praying God will help me move through this.