**heart... not heat ...(Yay... maybe it is working... )

I So agree with you Amy, this lack of sleep is just crazy. I just can't seem to sleep at night. Maybe part of mine is the many years of caregiving plus grief. Was going to go to my first grief support group tonight and wouldn't you know I decided to doze off and slept through it. Hopefully I can attend next week. Good for you going to relay for life. Hope you enjoy it, it may at least be a distraction for a while. Anything to relieve this agony for a while! Hugs and Love to you, Michele

Amy, must admit sleeping pills are my only way to get more then a couple hours of sleep. I'm going to also say please be careful four Tylenol pm can really slow your heart rate down. One night I took 7 just because I couldn't take not sleeping, I hallucinated. Never more than one more me a night. Night time in my bed is the hardest time for me too. Stay strong. Love all around

I'm usually a great sleeper! If I lay off the caffeine after 2:00 and exercise some, I usually sleep. But on those nights that I have too much on my mind, (usually from watching something on tv!) I turn to BENADRYL!!! Blessed Benadryl!! Helps me every time!

I have allergies so I take Benadryl fairly often. It used to make me tired, but now it doesn't seem to do anything. I know that the "sleepy" ingredient in Tylenol PM is basically an anti-histamine. I managed to get almost an hour and a half of sleep. Better than nothing I suppose.

Oh Amy! You must get rest. It is vital to your whole well being. I'm praying for you to find peace in your heart so you can get some rest and sleep.
Loves.....Karla

Amy, can you go to a different doctor?

Sometimes medication is necessary. Ambien is not the only medication for sleep. I take Xanax for both anxiety and for sleep. I don't have to take a large dose, and I do sleep 6-7 hours a night. I have taken it at other times of high stress, and I have not gotten addicted.

Without this medication, I could not make it through this grief with the anxiety that is sometimes debilitating, as well as no sleep. I am careful with it, and I'm taking less now than I was at the beginning.

I also take a low dose of Lexapro, which is an antidepressant. I've taken it for a long time.

Sorry for your pain,
Linda

Amy , in stress( This is big stress ~coping) the normal chemical function can get out of what and go free wheeling.
Being in our position I can see why sleep gets cut from our lives.
I have never had a good record of sleeping, much worse aft John passed, so I have to work at it.

"Stress is what you feel when you have to handle more than you are used to. When you are stressed, your body responds as though you are in danger. It makes hormones that speed up your heart, make you breathe faster, and give you a burst of energy. This is called the fight-or-flight stress response."
It raises the chemicals that keep you alert, messing with the ability to sleep...your bodies own "caffeine" type chemical generator.

A set group of calming activities to practice is a start.
I watch re-runs of shows because my brain already knows the ending... set a timer on tv to shut off. The mundane shows, history channel and whatever else is droning and repetitive.

I draw if needed, my hands and brain must work together and it is easier to know that once I have the idea shaped though not finished I can let it go.

Life is different now, so stop trying to solve problems a couple hours ahead of bed time. Write your list for tomorrow and set it down.

This one is hard...Make your bed your friend again.
Change what you can and claim this new area as your own. I know it hurts to let go of the habits(my side of the bed) but try. Even moving the bed and room around, paint a different color... what ever it takes to feel calmer.

Then there are also relaxation techniques .... I use plenty.

Also if you have a month or more see your doctor, get some help with it, not all are long term only to get your system back in rhythm. Long term problems change the way your brain gets wired...
I am an example of that, I sleep only with assistance since 1995, even before that. Mine has to do with CPTSD, but losing John didn't help.

Hugs to all.
Jewell

For me, though I know it is a life thing... I will always have to practice sleep prep, but I did that before John left too.

I just went back and read your original post and realized you have a heart condition. Does it rule out all medication? Sorry I didn't pay more attention before I posted!

I also use a natural supplement called Natural Calm. It relaxes me in the evening so I can take less Xanax. A lot of my friends use it alone for sleep. You can get it at the health food store or on Amazon. It has really good reviews as a sleep aid on Amazon.

It's just magnesium, but it is very calming. You might have to ask your doctor about it.

Wishing you peace,
Linda

The doctor had given me Xanax for a couple weeks after Shane's passing, and Lexapro, which I stayed on for a few months. The Xanax did not seem to "relax me enough to sleep any more than what I get without it. The Lexapro did nothing for the depression. It seems like a vicious cycle, the lack of sleep fuels the depression, the depression seems to prevent sleep.
I know that sleep will not take away all of the pain from this loss, but I am sure that the lack of sleep is making me feel even worse than I would at this point.
I may have to ask for the Xanax to try one more round of it to see if it would help. I have been considering moving the furniture around in the bedroom, but that is such a difficult thing to commit to right now.

I cannot imagine trying to get through this horror without sleep. I feel for you. I only get about 6-7 hours a night with the Natural Calm and the Xanax, but I would be in constant meltdown if I was up all night. Maybe the Xanax needs to be a little stronger dose.

To me, the lack of any sleep is worse for your health at this time than having to wean off medication at a later time when you're stronger. That's just my opinion, as I am sharing this same rough road with you.

Moving furniture..............oh, my.... I find it exhausting sometimes just to change the sheets.

You're in my prayers.

Linda