Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Still here...

MrsG
MrsG

I am new to this club that no one wants to be part of...I think I can't catch my breath some days, but I do. I get up, I get dressed, and I stay busy and then night comes, I have to take deeper breaths as the nights are the most difficult, but then again everyday is difficult...I kneel everynight to pray to my Father who loves me and has not for one moment left me alone...and guess what? I am still here!! I think I am doing pretty well and then "BAM" out of nowhere I am crying in the grocery store parking lot today as I am trying to put all the sacks in the car...I feel mad, sad, so lonely!! I am mad that he isn't here to help me, I am sad that he had to leave and I am looking at other people in the store like" are you kidding me, don't you know how I feel"!! I can be all over the place at times! They tell me this is what happens, but my stomach still feels anxious, like I could be ill...when this happens! I don't want anyone to tell me this will get better because from what I am hearing...it doesn't...it will be about how I am able to handle life on this other side of "US"!! Just had to vent today, all these "first's" are just soooooo hard!! My first 4th July without him!! He has been gone 2 mos and 9 days

patriciapattersongoo
patriciapattersongoo
Well, I couldn't have said any better myself.... I could have wrote this cause it sounds exactly like where I am at. I was married to Tommy for 36 years and he has been gone almost 5 months. It's not getting better but tomorrow maybe I will think it is :(
All I can say is hang on and pray cause I know that's all that has got me this far
xxxxx
Patricia
JesusisOurSaviour
JesusisOurSaviour
Yes, you are stil here...I know it's one of the most devastating experiences we ever face....if you can, read through as many of the old discussion posts, as you can. They really helped me get through the early stages of grief, we are all here for you, keep venting and posting.
Hugs from Sandra....there is also a Faith DS W/W, which may be helpful to you also
MrsG
MrsG
Thank you both for listening and commenting, it does help to have a release and just knowing other's care for those that hurt as well!! "This too shall pass" I am clinging to HIS WORD!!
katie2016
katie2016
I found the 2 - 3 month time frame about the most difficult. The first couple of months I pretty much just holed up and gave myself permission to ignore the world as much as I could. But there came a time that I needed to start going out and doing errands. Ugh - hated the grocery store for all the reasons you noted. Six months out, the grocery store is better - I don't cry there anymore - but there are still many places that are difficult. Sometimes I feel like such a "Negative Nancy" on these boards, but I think it's a great place to vent. We feel we have to wear our happy faces for the rest of the world and sometimes it does feel great just to let out all the negativity in this safe space. I am just past 6 months. Does it get better? I have found that it has gotten easier. There are definitely still moments that are every bit as hard as day 1, but I am finding they are getting further apart and don't last as long. Just keep breathing, praying and posting....whatever you need to get out.
jonesce78
jonesce78
It is a fog. Right now it is about going through the motions to get by. It has been 32 days and this has been the longest 32 days of my life. I wake up sick to my stomach every morning at the same time. I sleep very little, cry very often, and hurt all day. I lost my Clint suddenly and unexpectedly in the hospital trusting that the staff would take care of him properly and they failed him. I laid in the bed with him everyday, all day, tending to his every need. I was terrified for him. I then had to leave to pick up his cousin and I didn't see him alive again. The last time he saw me, my back was turned to him walking out the door. I thought he was going to be okay and that they would take care of him. This has been unbearable and I am so sorry for your loss. You feel claustrophobic in your own grief at times. You want people around but then you want to be alone. I can't be in crowds right now. It hurts too much. You are not alone in your pain. Reality has been torture.