This is my first post since i joined last week. Been reading a lot of posts from everyone and all I can do is cry. My husband and I just had our 32nd anniversary May 5, 2017 and we have been together for over 34 years. He was the love of my life and only 58 years old. I lost my precious husband on a beautiful saturday, August 12 this year, only 3 months ago. He was an avid motorcyclist since he was just a kid. It wasn't just something to fill his time, going out on his motorcycle was his passion, and I called it his Medicine. He needed his road time so he could keep his sanity and to destress. He had been weed eating our five acres that day and was getting tired. As usual for a saturday dozens of bikers would pass by our house in the country distracting him terribly, and I knew all he really wanted to do was to be out there too just feeling the wind in his face and the enjoyment he always felt on a long bike ride. I told my husband he should go for a ride, please go, no guilt, I would be here when he got home. Our 4 year old grandaughter was spending the weekend with us. My husband Doug came in and changed his clothes for his ride, I remember him standing at the back door asking me If I wanted to go to with that sexy smile he always had. I had to decline, both of us were too big to ride on his current bike. So I bid him farewell, told him I loved him as I always did.

Doug left the house around 3pm. He would always come home before dark to avoid the danger of deer in the road. So it turned dark and I became worried, then I thought he probably stopped at his moms house down the street. Before I could call a knock came on the back door. Two family members and two official men in suits, my heart dropped. My husband was not at his moms house. He was only 5 miles from home when some jerk couldn't wait to get into his driveway. He said he didn't see my husband - hard to believe because my husband bike was a big full dress touring bike and Doug is 6foot 6 inches, and 315 pounds. It was a primary road and I'm sure Doug was doing 50-55 mph. Doug had no time what so ever to react, not one skid mark. He hit the guys large jeep, inbeded into the front passenger door / wheel fender. Doug new that you never go down with your bike, you have to get away from it, but it was not to be, he had no time to get away. He broke both wrist in the impact, flew over the jeep, and hit the road/with his helmit on, on the second hit his helmit came off. He died on the side of the road all by himself of blunt force trauma. It just kills me knowing he died there all by himself, I still can't stop crying.

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I just hate the lonliness and the realization that he is never coming back. I just want to wake up and realize it was just a dream. My last 3 months have been stranger than fiction, really. My husbands funeral was so beautiful. There must have been several hundred people that came. He was a mobile haudraulic technician for many electric companies including Kentucky Utilities in Lexington Ky. As we left for the cemetary there were over 40 huge electic company bucket trucks linded up on both sides of the street with each and every man staning at the front of his truck with his head bowed and his helmit on his chest. Two trucks had the buckets raised on each side of the street while flying two American Flags. My son and daughter and I just cried. They really loved and trusted my husband with their lives. I will never forget their display of love and respect for Doug.

I would like to share more of my story but time is not allowing me just now. My saving grace that has helped me up to this point is my belief in God knowing he is always with me and loving me. It's also been extremely helpfull for me to keep busy, and believe me I have been so busy. My to do list has been never ending, I just keep plugging away. Hopefull by the first of the year most of my list will be done. I am looking forward to a long train ride out west to see the Grand Canyon, Utah, Colorado, Arizona and New Mexico, these were my husbands most favorite places to ride. We were planing on driving out there next year, now my daughter and I will travel that route seeing the beautiful land that Doug could never stop talking about.

Trudy