Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I'm new to this support group, but I have already received hugs and friend requests from some really beautiful people here.
Who am I quoting when I read "Welcome to the club nobody wants to join?"
But we are here...and only the members of this club can really know what each other is going through.
Tragedy aside...I am thankful that I found the DS community...
everybody I have met here is a dynamic, beautiful Spirit.
I was a little hasty when I first set up my profile; and when I entered my first avatar, all I could think of was to show off my bike. I've been riding bikes for over 40 years, the bike I'm riding now is the bike of my dreams, and I still love to show it off.
But if you want to see it, I invite you to the photo gallery on my profile page. You will see my 2006 Harley Davidson 88" Fatboy, that is chased by many pickup trucks...but never caught! You will also see the Brunette Ellie Mae who I spent half my life with, and have been married to for 27 years...and who moved-on to the Spirit Realm on June 12, 2015.
I have decided to change my avatar to the Bull Run pocket watch you see in the image...and that is for a very good reason that I would like to share with you.
Marylou and I met on February 16, 1983. When I first looked at her, I thought she looked like my dream girl, Donna Douglas who played Ellie Mae Clampet on "The Beverly Hillbillies" TV show in the 60's, only with dark hair. And she had her hair the same way Ellie Mae wore it on TV, big on top with a long foxtail hanging down one side. She was breathtaking, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
But there was another reason for that. Even though I knew I had never seen her before...at least not in this life...somehow I felt like I had known her for all of this life. And she said the same of me.
I'll get to the point before this becomes a book. The pocket watch you see in my avatar is the very same one Marylou gave me about two months after we met. I still carry it everywhere I go, for a reason. When Marylou gave me that watch, she said "There is only one thing I am ever going to ask you for...time."
Seems easy enough for somebody you love more than your own life, right? But it's not quite that simple. Life never is, and that's how it gets in the way. I made a fairly decent living as an over-the-road trucker...
but that was the lifestyle that kept me from giving Marylou the only thing she ever asked me for.
What wouldn't any of us give for a do-over? Who among us doesn't have at least one thing they would do different?
Time is an illusive animal...just about when you think you got it in the palm of your hand, that's when it slips away...and once it's gone, you can never have it back.
Living behind the wheel all my adult life, I do not live in the same world as most people...and my ideas about all of this are probably different from most people. I think we DO get a do-over...when we rejoin our loved ones on the other side.
If you study anything about near-death experiences ("NDE's"), many people who recall them say that the afterlife is every bit, and even more physical, than our reality in this life. I have also heard them say that when we meet up with our loved ones...it matters not what condition they were in when they left this life...they will be in the prime of their life on the other side. Many of them say, "about 30".
I cannot imagine a better do-over than that!
There are many people who don't want to hear this stuff...because they are pretty sure that it doesn't happen that way.
But how can they be so sure of that? The things I am referring to were reported by people who were known to be clinically "dead"...but were still able to tell the doctors what they were talking about when they were supposed to be "dead". So anyone who would say that I am wrong, has the same odds that they are wrong themselves.
And anyone who says they "know-for-sure"...was 100% wrong as soon as they opened their mouth.
One thing I do know for sure: If there is a chance that I could be right, and if I have a shot at that magnificent do-over...somebody-else is going to be driving the trucks in heaven!
Who am I quoting when I read "Welcome to the club nobody wants to join?"
But we are here...and only the members of this club can really know what each other is going through.
Tragedy aside...I am thankful that I found the DS community...
everybody I have met here is a dynamic, beautiful Spirit.
I was a little hasty when I first set up my profile; and when I entered my first avatar, all I could think of was to show off my bike. I've been riding bikes for over 40 years, the bike I'm riding now is the bike of my dreams, and I still love to show it off.
But if you want to see it, I invite you to the photo gallery on my profile page. You will see my 2006 Harley Davidson 88" Fatboy, that is chased by many pickup trucks...but never caught! You will also see the Brunette Ellie Mae who I spent half my life with, and have been married to for 27 years...and who moved-on to the Spirit Realm on June 12, 2015.
I have decided to change my avatar to the Bull Run pocket watch you see in the image...and that is for a very good reason that I would like to share with you.
Marylou and I met on February 16, 1983. When I first looked at her, I thought she looked like my dream girl, Donna Douglas who played Ellie Mae Clampet on "The Beverly Hillbillies" TV show in the 60's, only with dark hair. And she had her hair the same way Ellie Mae wore it on TV, big on top with a long foxtail hanging down one side. She was breathtaking, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
But there was another reason for that. Even though I knew I had never seen her before...at least not in this life...somehow I felt like I had known her for all of this life. And she said the same of me.
I'll get to the point before this becomes a book. The pocket watch you see in my avatar is the very same one Marylou gave me about two months after we met. I still carry it everywhere I go, for a reason. When Marylou gave me that watch, she said "There is only one thing I am ever going to ask you for...time."
Seems easy enough for somebody you love more than your own life, right? But it's not quite that simple. Life never is, and that's how it gets in the way. I made a fairly decent living as an over-the-road trucker...
but that was the lifestyle that kept me from giving Marylou the only thing she ever asked me for.
What wouldn't any of us give for a do-over? Who among us doesn't have at least one thing they would do different?
Time is an illusive animal...just about when you think you got it in the palm of your hand, that's when it slips away...and once it's gone, you can never have it back.
Living behind the wheel all my adult life, I do not live in the same world as most people...and my ideas about all of this are probably different from most people. I think we DO get a do-over...when we rejoin our loved ones on the other side.
If you study anything about near-death experiences ("NDE's"), many people who recall them say that the afterlife is every bit, and even more physical, than our reality in this life. I have also heard them say that when we meet up with our loved ones...it matters not what condition they were in when they left this life...they will be in the prime of their life on the other side. Many of them say, "about 30".
I cannot imagine a better do-over than that!
There are many people who don't want to hear this stuff...because they are pretty sure that it doesn't happen that way.
But how can they be so sure of that? The things I am referring to were reported by people who were known to be clinically "dead"...but were still able to tell the doctors what they were talking about when they were supposed to be "dead". So anyone who would say that I am wrong, has the same odds that they are wrong themselves.
And anyone who says they "know-for-sure"...was 100% wrong as soon as they opened their mouth.
One thing I do know for sure: If there is a chance that I could be right, and if I have a shot at that magnificent do-over...somebody-else is going to be driving the trucks in heaven!
{{Hugs}}} ~ Bailey ~
I love your version of a do over. I never thought of the afterlife that way. There's no reason though to wait to start the do over process before we "blow this popsicle stand" as you say, lol. Since it's time that you feel that you needed to give, maybe try sharing some with the people you enjoy that are still on this side of the stand...even if it's as little as holding the door open for someone or patiently waiting in traffic for a slow poke. It's all time. It's what we can give.
I've found that due to the loss of my love, I have become if at the very least more tolerant and compassionate of people in general. It brings a kind of peace to my life by just appreciating it and those still in it.
So dear sir....thanks for the touching post and I hope to hear more of your thoughts and experiences.
This is not the place anyone really wants to be....but now that you're here....it truly truly is a Godsend for those in need...I know personally....this forum has helped me accept and move forward towards my peace more than I could ever imagine or express in words...anything you need...someone here has been there and always willing to lend an ear and soft helpful advice.
Big hugs to you and drive safe!
Darcie
P.S.I always wanted a bike but never got one, maybe some day.
Peace, Tim
Please don't feel guilty about selling Doc's bike. I can't speak for Doc, only myself. I'm no spring chicken, I'm going to ride "Stillwater" for as many years as I'm able; and the whole while, do as much custom detailing and high-performance mods as I can afford. And when it's time for me to check-out of this roach-motel and go find my wife, in my will I will tell my 3 daughters to get as much as they can for it and split it 3 ways. I want them to have a kick-ass party on me. Most Harley riders I have ever known, would slap-me-five on that one.
10-4...you nailed it!
Dave
I always told people she was the "good one" and if ever heaven welcomed an angel it would be her.
Take care my friend ~Pete
I can understand where you may be in your journey, but I never wished for a do over. I learned how precious life is, and that I need to make the best of it while I can. I don't time it, I live it. If I have a bad day, I work toward a good day.