Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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vicini11 06/20/2015

Reading Maryelnew's post about that mentioned changing her hair reminded something I did a couple of weeks ago. One day I went through my morning routine. Brush teeth, shave and then shower. It was then that my thought process went afoul. Noticed my hair was longer than had been in a long time and honestly a bit shabby. No one else has cut my hair except my wife in nearly 25 years. She cut everyone's hair even her own. So in my typical male way of thinking I say how hard can it be. Gathered scissors and an electric razor haircutting thing. After cutting and buzzing for awhile I realize I can't do things backwards in a mirror and things were going terribly wrong. Once I got the sides and top relatively even I realize I can't even see the back. So here I am still today sporting a 1980's mullet. I found out my kids are not big fans of the mullet so I am going to keep it for awhile just to bug them. I guess what I am trying to say is we do not have to do all the things our spouses used to do if we truly suck at it.
John.

While writing this I was laughing so hard I had tears. First tears from laughter in a very long time.

hgsdms 06/20/2015

Thank you for the chuckle John. Tears of laughter are truly good for us and feel great! Darlene

maryelnew 06/20/2015

love it, I think you post your hair from the back as your profile pic so that we can all remember there is humor even in our grief

wendimac 06/20/2015

Look at it this way...at least you ended up with a mullet..it could have been worse...
When I read her post about colouring her hair it reminded me of the one time I tried to do just that..I am blonde, and for whatever reason, decided to go red. Like you, I can't do things backward in a mirror, either...when it was dry, I was told that the back was a combination of red and blonde patches..kind of like a clown...so I won't be trying that again..if I want a change, I'll just take the ponytail out and let it hang, the way my husband always liked it...

dschwartz 06/20/2015

John . . . your story is priceless!! LOL Mullet and all. I am one of the fortunates as being a previous cosmetologist, I can cut and color my hair, no problem. However, you brought up so many memories of clients that went astray trying to do a "kitchen beautician" job . . and ended up in my chair afterwards. I've seen more than a few botch jobs All can be "fixed" eventually, when you are ready to stop messing with the kids! :) Thanks for the chuckles and memories. xo, D.

Hooksr 06/20/2015

I find a good haircut you can do yourself is shave it bald, thats what I do. I never did let my wife shave it was always a bit apprehensive about her doing that. Seriously though, the little things that you have to learn to do can be overwhelming at first. Do the best you can, laugh at the mistakes and take pride in the successes. I pray you find some peace.

Hugs,
Ron

JesusisOurSaviour 06/20/2015

John,
A great, great story. Just what we need around here, some laughter and fun.
Can you post a photo?
Hugs........Sandra

npc4204 06/20/2015

John, thanks for the laugh! I would never attempt to cut mine or anyone else's hair. You're a brave man!

vicini11 06/21/2015

Before I continue it occurred to me that someone might think I am being disrespectful to this wonderful group by not being serious. If I have offended anyone I am sincerely sorry, as that would never be my intent. If I have please let me know.

With that being said I would like to respond to some of the comments. To Maryelnew and Sandra's request for a photo. Again the thought process is I have never done a selfie but how hard can it be. So I grab my phone and head to the dreaded mirror. Needless to say this didn't go well either. I'm not even sure it is possible to take a picture of the back of your head in a mirror. Maybe my son will help me tomorrow. To npc4204. There may be a fine line between brave and just not quite right. Good night all.

loveddogs 06/21/2015

John, tears of laughter are wonderful. With all the drs appts and hospital stays, my husband was beginning to look like he belonged on Duck Dynasty by the time he came home. It was too difficult to get him anywhere, so I decided to trim his hair, sideburns and beard. Something I'd never done. It turned out presentable. Mustache a little wonky, but he did look so much better. However while my daughter was here she pointed out what a bad job I did around his neck. Well,he was sitting straight up when I trimmed it. And was laying down when she saw him. He seemed pleased and so was I. Never claimed to be a beautician. And how strange that in 40 years I had never seen him without his mustache. Only pictures of him. As I am writing this, I remember his hair stylist passed away several months before my dear husband. He had gone to her for years. I find comfort in thinking she probably straightened up my mess when he met her in heaven. What a wonderful thought!!

cliffskat 06/21/2015

"There may be a fine line between brave and just not quite right." You are too funny! Thanks for the chuckle!

eric1971 06/21/2015

Priceless, thank you.

letmehelpyou 06/21/2015

All right! Billy Ray Cyrus in the building! Thank you for the laugh. And you are right, don't have to do everything.

Hugs,
Val

hgsdms 06/21/2015

John, I cannot speak for the others, but it is my opinion that absolutely none of our spouses that have "left" would want us to continue life never laughing again! Laughter is wonderful and very healing. You sound like a really neat guy who can find joy in the simple things in life, and I think that will help heal your heart.

Thank you for the laugh. I truly enjoyed picturing you, in my mind, "doing" your hair! My husband probably would have tried cutting his own hair too. Like your wife, I cut it for years.

matoacalady 06/21/2015

Oh john....you made me laugh this morning.....aren't mullets coming back in style?

Good for you just for trying

Hugs
Jen

Shrn 06/21/2015

Good for you for trying and your bravery to share with us. Made me laugh along with you. Sharon

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