Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

So many reminders . . .

BandiBlue
BandiBlue
Many of you know that Sam and I were working toward the day when we could live under the same roof (details in my journal). It's been just a little more than 9 months since his accident, and I was actually starting to handle things a bit better.

But it seems as though there's been a sudden onslaught of things that make me want to pick up the phone and share them with him. Ads for new products that I know he'd like, articles about repairing lawn mowers, magazine pictures of places we've visited . . . the list goes on and on. And each time I see them, each time I think "Oh, I can't wait to show this to Sam," I have to remind myself yet again that he's not at the other end of the telephone line.

There are no lengthy late-night phone calls, no online Scrabble games, no reservations being booked for my next flight to Florida. And I find that I miss those things so desperately. But I know tomorrow will be better, and the next day, and the next.

I'm just grateful that I have my DS friends to lean on. Thanks for listening.

Wishing you all peace . . .

Bandi
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
It is amazing, isn't it, how the seemingly smallest most mundane things can trigger the memories. I am recently back from clearing our home in Florida, and felt like I was drowning in them. Your mentioning Scrabble really takes me back. One of the things I had to get rid of was our deluxe Scrabble set. Cliff was a master at crossword puzzles, and when he played Scrabble, his chosen challenge dictionary was no less than the Oxford English Dictionary. Oh man, he was tough to beat! He knew every archaic spelling of anything, plus all those danged "small furry animal indigenous to South America" clues in crosswords and could use that stuff to his advantage at Scrabble. I'm no illiterate slouch, mind you, but it was rare to beat him. Somehow I didn't mind it - he always kept life interesting and intriguing.

It hurt to give away the Scrabble set, but I will always cherish those memories.

I hope today is a better day for you, with triggers that make you smile and not cry.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hope you can find a little peace amongst all the sadness...God bless.

Lawrence
darjar0
darjar0
I still do it too. I see an ad for something or I think of something we'd need to do and I think "I can't wait for him to call so I can tell him" Then I have the "oh yea" moment and I remember.
It's not nice and hopefully those moments get fewer and fewer as time goes on.
Take care ,
Nancy
sassiesoftail
sassiesoftail
Same thing here. I ordered a kitchen Island that had to be put togeter. The directions stated that it takes 2 people. Well I am no longer 2 peole so I figured I would put on my big girl panties and get ur done. As I was twisting myself in many directions at once trying to hold the darn thing together while installing screws I heard a noise in the garage and thought to myself, good Tim is home and can help me. Then it dawned on me Tim will never be home again. I sat down and cried for a few minutes and then realized that he's right here and I kept going and got the thing put together. It looks great and I know it did take 2 people, one in spirit.
Hugs, Sandi
jfajmra
jfajmra
I can relate all too well, for me its when something funny happens at work or when I'm out fishing or playing golf with my brothers or friends and I think to myself I can't wait to tell Jean about this, and then reality sets in. I loved to make her laugh, her laugh would just make your day.

take care
Jesse
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
I love all the sharing in this post. All the little things our loved one did or said to make us feel so loved. Looking at all the pictures of "us" now brings me to tears. In every picture, my husband has a big smile, has his arm around me or holding my hand. I know he always he loved me, his home and his life. In one picture, I have my hand on his heart. Funny I never really noticed that too much over the years. The moment of his death, my hand was on his heart. I miss him so much.