I feel your pain as I was in a similar situation a few years ago when at 48, I lost my husband to a very fast progressing Cancer (he was gone 8 days after diagnosis) . Even though I had family and some friends, they did not comprehend the extend of my pain and bit by bit they stayed away.

Going to a bereavement group helped me tremendously but also getting involved in things out of my bubble zone. I started volunteering at a weekly fundraiser meals. I was just cleaning the tables and doing some dishes but as most of the diners were people mostly alone who wanted a homemade meal for cheap, conversations started happening with regulars and I found that since they did not know my pain, I could talk about things and feel a social connection that was sorely needed. I also started playing cards as I could show up to these card games by myself and there would always be a conversation started at each table.

I did a bereavement group after my mike passed. I watch my 1 yr old grandson during the day. Nothing seems to help

It was that way with my husband too, he was my soulmate, my best friend, my everything, we always understood each other, there could never be anyone else like him, we were married 34 years. We pretty much kept to ourselves, I have a few friends that I go to lunch with once in awhile but even when I am with other people, I am always thinking of him, its going on 8 months now since he has been gone, it's a very strange world without him. My best friends are my 3 cats, but God is my strength, He is what gets me through each day. I meditate on His Word when I start feeling really bad, and although the heartache is still always there, it is bearable and I just take it one day at a time, it is too painful to think too far ahead about a life without my husband.

I feel the same, married 40 years before my wife's passing in February, we were home bodies that loved each other's company. If it weren't for church services and Bible study I don't know when I'd leave the house. We had all our plans to travel when I retired but that was then and this is now.

I too lost my husband of 30 years on 9/18/2016. It was very sudden here at home. Life will never be the same. I am fortunate because I have a son at home. My kids are very supportive. I work that helps a lot. Seems like the more distracted I keep myself the better I am. It's at night and on the weekends that are the worst. I do not celebrate the holiday's so that is not a trigger for me and I am very involved in my faith and they have been wonderful. Prayer and relying on God really helps. But at the end of the day it just aches. It's certainly not the way we planned it. I feel so guilty that my husband worked so hard all of his life to provide and then never got to retire and have fun. But I do have the hope of seeing him again and that keeps me going.... Please keep if touch :-) Jeanne

I'm so sorry about you losing your husband, I feel exactly like you. We were always together and now I have no friends or family. Not one person called me when he died. I had to pick up his ashes in a cab. I keep them in my bedroom and I'm just not ready to part with them yet. He was 50yrs old. I beat stage 3 breast cancer, then I have a brain tumor. None of that scared me because I had God. Then Greg died and it was the straw that kind of broke me. I recently found a letter that he wrote while I was going through chemo and it's the sadist most beautiful letter in the world! I'm so glad I found it. He begged God to take him instead of me because he said he couldn't live without me. I'm so glad that God took him 1st because I wouldn't wish my pain on my worst enemy. The good news about his death was he got sick and died in 6mo. which I was grateful for because he was in horrible pain!

I am sorry for your struggles, but understand completely what you are feeling. My husband and I did everything together and really didn't feel the need for other friends. The result of those choices is that the remaining spouse is devastated and always feels the aloneness. I have no desire to "branch out" and start over. The only people that I connect with are those few women in my grief group who are in similar situations. Is this an option for you?

I did grief counceling can't find and widows groups near me