Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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So hard to move out

FrecklesnCurls
FrecklesnCurls
One would think that after a year of crying & missing my other half (wow, does not seem like a year) to me it just seems like .... ok another Father's Day without you, but last yr..... I was still in shock & just skipped it... you had just left my world a week earlier. So now I have to start looking for an apartment after living with my husband & our 2 daughters for so many yrs. in this home.. I think someone might have to hold me up when I leave here for good.... its gonna feel like losing him all over again. I will try to think that he will still be with me when I do move into a different place... but I try to think that he will always be with me. Very hard time for me.... wish I could bury my head in the sand & have everything taken care of... but... no... I also have to worry about his elderly mom.. she is in a very good nursing home,.... but I never thought that I would be all she has left. She does not remember her past life... not even her son. And I have to worry about my very old parents as well.....But, since my hubby left my world... all I can think of when I see an old man. or old couple happy together is.... well at least he is still alive... and... at least they are still together.
maryelnew
maryelnew
I'm so sorry, my husband was ill when we moved here and because of that I have thought of moving, but after your post I see it in an entirely new perspective - at least I had him with me here. I am so sorry you have to leave there. Sending you a hug.
joannklingaman
joannklingaman
Amazing Frecklesen..... the similarities of our story & situation

Today is 1yr 2months since I lost my love. I think of him every moment of everyday. I did end up moving to be close to my family which has eased the pain. Like you I moved my mother in-law with me and at 95 she is doing good, however her memory is fading too & my parents are in their mid 80's . I know that I'm blessed in many ways.
But there is such a Big Void, that will never be filled.
dschwartz
dschwartz
I understand, as I'm in the throes of packing myself. However, remember that although you are leaving memories behind, your husband will be forever with you in spirit. Perhaps this can be viewed as a new beginning for you and moving forward? Sending you lots of strength to endure the move. Hugs, D
SandyV1
SandyV1
I too will be moving, probably later this year. I plan to take loads of photos of all rooms and the yard before I start packing. Wishing you well.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
It's hard for me to respond from personal experience, because my husband and I sold our home a year and 1/2 before he was diagnosed. We moved to an apartment we owned and our daughter managed with our son in law. They had remodeled it for us.

I can say that I still think about our life together in our home where our children grew up and we made so many memories. But those memories are with me still and will be where ever I live.

You aren't leaving your memories. They will be with you always. Sharon
kkg17
kkg17
I took many photos throughout the years, and they are waiting for me to organize them into albums. The house where they were created is now sold and gone, but I look forward to getting these albums together. Someday. Maybe after all the financial stuff is done, and his clothes given away, and I am more adjusted to the "new normal"...There will probably be many tears as I look at the photographed events, and grieve that my favorite subject is no longer on this earth...but the memories will be alive.
justme503
justme503
I am sorry for your pain. I identify with your statement of seeing an older man or couple. At first I was so jealous of them, realizing I will never have that with Ed. I try to remember the 16 years we had will have to be enough until I join him on the other side. After 18 months as a widow the best thing I can suggest is not to rush any of it, if you can. This experience is like a roller coaster, sometimes you feel really strong and then a song that reminds me of him will come on the radio. Take care of yourself and don't rush into anything. Big hug!