Oh Wendi, you are not alone. The slightest thing can trigger my tears. I avoid listening to music. Might be a word or phrase that will cause a memory. Spent the afternoon with my grand daughter, her mommie stopped at the store to buy a few groceries. My little Lola dropped the watermelon and cracked it and mommie says to let grandma help. I could barely touch it because watermelon brings back the memory of one of the last few bites of food I could get my husband to eat before he passed. I don't know if I will ever be able to eat watermelon again as long as I live. So many constant reminders of him, or us or just anything can seem to trigger the tears. I still can't wash the sheets on the bed because they smell like him. Everything of his is still here except him (and most of the medical crap). I even have a hard time watching any tv programs that he watched. It seems so rediculous at times how my brain works or what can trigger the tears. Happy or sad, at this time it doesn't seem to matter. All we can do is HOPE things will settle down with time. Hang in there sister, you are not alone, Hugs, Michele

I know what you are saying....My mother in law passed 2 and a half years before my husband...when we went and saw her in hospital she was watching the NCIS show....after she passed my husband said to me ...." I don't think I can ever watch that show again"....so after he passed when that show came on ..I would get all messed up...I actually remember sitting up in my bed one day yelling at the TV that it killed my family...I was yelling at the Actor I think his name is Mark Harmon..daring him to come and kill me ...cuz I was going to watch the show...I know how nuts this sounds but for me at that moment I needed to blame something for everything...today I am pretty sure my husband watched NCIS after his mom passed.. so do I ..now....and I don't yell at the TV about that anymore but that day...that time in my life....yep I did it!! I think most of us all go a little crazy....its rough and it hurts...sending you BOTH hugs!!!

Wendi, the triggers. Me and my wife both ride Harley's. I have pulled mine out a few times since she passed and it is very hard. I am used to seeing her in my right mirror or right next to me. As much as I love to ride I find it very difficult to get on that bike. I am planning a ride with friends in September from Denver to San Diego. I am hoping this will be a good thing and help with the healing but I am really apprehensive. But I also go through the same everyday triggers as well. Any little thing can set me off.

Aw yes, the triggers. They are everywhere. My husband died of cancer. The only TV I watch is the news and there are always commercials about cancer treatment centers, cancer drugs, etc Tears me apart! Michele I hear you about not be able to eat some of the things our husbands loved. I will NEVER be able to make or eat banana or pumpkin bread again. At the beginning I wanted to run away to a place where there would be no triggers, but alas I know now that they would follow me....they are in my mind and memory. Hugs to all. Darlene

Wendi, we've all got them! I burst into tears in the produce section over avocados! I was trying to pick out a good one, and I'm standing there with one in each hand, remembered how Cliff would go on and on about the right way to do it, and I lost it! Good grief! Who cries over avocados??!! Well, WE DO. And over watermeon, and over stupid tv shows (I could never watch "House" after he died), and over the news (how many times do the news guys really need to stick the microphone in the crying family's faces???), and over dumb songs (too many to list here).

It will ease up. I can buy avocados, watch tv, and even deal with the news (most days anyway). The music was a challenge, but eventually that returned to normal, too.

Hang in there, you can get through this.

Love and Big Hugs,
Martha

Ed Sheeran's song "Thinking out Loud" where he mentions "Loving you until I'm SEVENTY" and "People fall in love in mysterious ways"...
I swear, after Marc passed, that song played relentlessly whenever I turned on my Sirius radio or TV music station. Marc died 10 days before his happily anticipated 70th birthday, and I feel like he was sending that song to me.
It's dangerous driving the choked freeways of Los Angeles with tears gushing out of one's eyes...

Yes, where and when you least expect it, the triggers will sneak up on you. My eyes leaked for years. Sandee

Martha. Glad you can buy Avocados now... that got a chuckle out of me...lol Sandee

So many triggers. I have not been back to the grocery store where we shopped each week, can't watch some of the shows we watched together and laughed at, folded up the two lounge chairs out in back and they are still in same position since he passed. Taking baby steps to clear out his closet. We are not alone in grief... many hugs ...

For me it was motorcycle riders. We belonged to a group of over 40 years old. Just touring the countryside and enjoying the beauty around us. The first summer without him I actually had to stop the car, because the tears were too great. The good news is, although I couldn't ride without him, I can see couples enjoying their ride. I only hope they appreciate every moment. Sharon

Thank you for all your responses. NCIS and House were among my husband's favorite shows, too. And I can't bring myself to watch them...and that commercial about a cure for Hep C, the ads on the bus regarding liver transplants, and certain foods - like baklava- can't eat that anymore...my husband had been a busker for many years, and now every time I see someone playing guitar outside the skytrain station, in front of a store, etc., it chokes me up real bad...
August 1st would have been 22 years since the day we met...I may take my son down to the beach where we met that day...if I can do it without crying too much..

Feeling with you. I can't watch films, I sometimes lose it when I'm asked for my date of birth (i think because my husband so often had to give his and there were times when he struggled to give it) and marital status - thats hard. Like you say - there are so many triggers. Bournemouth was a special place for us where we went every year - not sure when I'll be able to go there without him

I had another one this afternoon...I was sitting in a DQ with my son when my phone rang. It was the eye clinic asking to speak to my husband. I had to tell them that he had passed away recently, which brought it up all over again.