I'm in a small village. I told my closest neighbours largely because they would wonder and may "put their foot in it" inadvertantly.

It doesn't make a difference. Whether a big city or small community, your support system must come from people that care about you and your welfare. The important word here is "care".

Any more we live in a me society, where people only focus on themselves, or may be so occupied with trying to make ends meet they don't have the strength or the time to devote to someone else.

Your immediate support system is your family, church minister/congregation, and your close friends. Most support groups are run by community oriented facilities, or churches. I would venture that very small towns would not, unless some caring person decided to start one of their own.

I live in a 55+, and most of the folks are caring individuals. However, there are others who just want to stick their nose in your business. They are the ones I most stay away from.

I live in a suburb of Atlanta, GA - in an area that my husband has lived for 12 years now. I'm sure that the metropolitan area has many avenues for group support, etc - but I have personally found my biggest support has come from my close friends (not necessarily close in proximity, but close in heart) as well as my family and of course my friends here at DS.
I'm curious about your support group on FB - how did you find it?
Have a good day.
Chris

lol, I forgot to answer the question - I got support from one of my neighbours - I didn't go out to seek support other than a bit on DS.

I did think of joining the local group of a widows support organisation at one point but bizarrely they would not tell me exactly if they had a local group until I joined - so I gave that a miss.

Chris,
As for the FB group... I just did a search for a widow group there. I found one called Young Widows and Widowers. This DS group has a lot more activity though,,
The reason I searched is that someone suggested I start one so I was trying to learn about "groups" was trying to start one for Christains and found these and decided I didn't need to start a new one,.

The biggest difference I can see is that one might have more options in a bigger city for meeting times and types of groups. Family and freind support is going to remain the same in either location...and a lot of that support depends on the person needing the support.

It does not matter if one lives in a larger metro area, medium city, or small town...if one is filled with their own problems and run people away and offend people then it's going to happen in any location.

Sometimes, a person just can not be "happy" or helped in any crisis.....grief or any other...because they do not have the abilty to listen or share and run people off and out of their lives by their own behavior or responses.....They and they never see that trend in their own life...they always blame the group or other people. They always have turmoil in their life but never see their own responsiblity and part in it. When you are continually left complaining about those who try to help you, you are never satisfied, reject peopole based on standards of looks or age or whatever... and people in your life have had to exit it.......then it might be that you need to look in the mirror and face the issue...yourself.

Location will not change this...and numerous options in a larger city will not change this...only the person can change their life and attitude.

Depends on the city, not necessarily the size. I knew the names of just about everybody and their dogs in my New Orleans neighborhood. It's a walkable city though, and I think you meet more people walking, rather than being inside a "car bubble." We moved to a small town and here I know my nextdoor neighbor...and that's about it. People wave, get in their cars, and off they go.

Okay...I live is no town, and a distance to the closest one. There is little available other than the over 40 group I had the issues with last week. There is no other widow group...unless it is something run by a hospice, which wouldn't apply to me. In my area...there are no options for a 27 year old widow. Kaaren

I live in a smaller center and have considered moving to the city as I hate the drive in the winter. I am hesitant to do this as I have so much support here. John and I have lived in this community for over 30 years. I am worried that it will take to much time to build that same support in the city or if it is even possible. I am thinking that as well, I would really miss everybody here.

I am in between two small towns, and there is not much here at all in the way of support groups. I finally contacted Hospice. Kaaren, Hospice has counselors, and various groups as well as individual counseling. The death not need to be from cancer. I just finished a group for younger widowed people. My grandmother had a saying, "strength in kindred". I now know what this means. It was hard to go to those first few meetings after the terrible reception I had at one group, but I met several wonderful people there. The group is now over but we still meet and share our journey with one another. I treasure these new friends.

I'm living in a small city, I guess. Population is about 20,000. I don't know the answer to your question since I was born and raised here. We lived on a military base in Germany for a year, but it didn't give me a perspective.

I have a circle of friends and family who have been very supportive. I really don't know if we lived in a metro area if it would be any different. I think it depends on the person and how much they are involved in the area where they live. Sharon

I agree with Debbie on this one. It doesn't matter the size of the town/city its the people who care about you.

I live in a city in a very nice neighborhood. After six months, only my immediate next door neighbors have even acknowledged that my husband has died. They came to his visitation and I haven't seen them since.... not even in their yard. Truthfully, I'm not sure most of my neighbors even know.

I'm fortunate though, I have a few good friends who are very suppportive. It's just all part of this crappy journey we are all on.

Well I live near a very small town and have been very well supported. Of course I don't know everyone in town, but I know a lot of them and they have been really great! and even though (or perhaps because) my church is small they also have been bery supportive as well as all the people at work. I guess my maon thought was that because in a smnall town most of the people are more likely to know a person that it might make for a better support system. I have had a great one at least! Wish everyone had as much moral supprt as I have had because I know it has helped me.