Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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NewRoadsForMe 11/09/2011

This is a very small issue. I was wondering which is the correct way to say a person died from cancer (or any other disease)? Should it be that he had a long battle WITH cancer, or should it be that he had a long battle AGAINST cancer.

Also, were we caretakers or caregivers?

I've seen DH several times and am not sure what it is. Is it deceased husband?

What other terms need to be clarified?

Thanks.

heartsick1 11/09/2011

DH means darling husband. I always say "long battle with cancer", but not sure that is right, against sounds better to me. I think we were caregivers. I think caretakers refers to those who overlook property.

jerseydebbie 11/09/2011

I just say the person passed due to cancer.

We were the caregivers.

I always say my husband passed.

deleted_user 11/09/2011

Hi,

DH can also mean "Dear Husband". Some of the other message boards use it also in front of wife, son, daughter - DW, DS, DD, etc.

Shar

yellowrose3 11/09/2011

I always say he battled cancer, because he did. He fought it all the way. Even when he knew it would not get any better. he was part of a clinical trial for a cancer med, for head and neck cancer. I was his caregiver, and he was mine. I did the physical part of careing for him, and he kept me emotionaly together. He was always comforting me when I would have overwhelming moments. I would lay in the bed beside him, and he would rub my face, and hair and tell me it was going to be ok. God I miss him so much.

michaelbmanning 11/09/2011

I say Mike lost his fight AGAINST cancer. ...and I say that he died. I am not afraid of the word. DH...darling husband....never called Mike darling or any other mushy word. He was Mike and that was it. He hated all the mushy stuff.

As for caregivers...I think that is correct, however I wonder how I was demoted from wife to caregiver. I had help the week Mike died due to my pregnancy so I was never really a caregiver. Mike was not that sick.

Maggie

NewRoadsForMe 11/09/2011

Thanks, everyone!

cliffskat 11/11/2011

I always find the abbreviations somehow offensive - if he really was so dear or so darling, doesn't he deserve more than just an abbreviation?? Maybe I'm just getting old....

missmyhero 11/11/2011

I say my late husband died from a brain tumor. It has been longer for me, so I can now say it. We lost him after only five and a half months. I guess I never had to explain that I cared for him. I was his wife. I believe that I said Care Partner a few times when talking with the doctors and others caring for a loved one before Denny died.

The DH thing never fit with me. I usually say Denny.

My answer to you though is that each person should say what "feels" right for them.

hugs....
-Diana

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