Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Sinking Fast Now.

Dottk
Dottk

Had to take a few days away.  Things are just so hard right now.  A lot happening here, but so far none of it seems good.  Had a pretty nasty falling out with one of my kids, 2 more members of my extended family have been re-diagnosed with new cancers, still haven't been able to find a job, or get assistance from anybody at all,  but I did put in an application at a local pet clinic today. My landlady wants to speak to me, and I am sure that can't be good.  Still haven't gotten any work from the temp company either which bothers me, because seems like they should be able to put me in a closet with old files to be shredded, or a dim (but hopefully, cool) warehouse clearing rat traps, or SOMETHING, doncha think?  NO call back from the driving job I put in for either, and I haven't heard from SoSec, if they brought me back to life either.  OH!! I did go to a new church yesterday it was o.k. but a kid stopped at my vehicle as I was getting ready to head home, and said, "Can I say something to you?"  I told him sure thing, he says "You look like "Animal" the drummer from the Muppets, but without the red (hair)!!"   Yeah, o.k..  Thanks for that ya little........ (Sigh) That's what I get for washing my hair and making an effort at going out.

Hopeful44
Hopeful44
I'm sorry for all things happening to you. I know it's tough coz like you, i have to start looking for my next job as my contract ends this month. Work has been my lifesaver, it made me feel close to being "normal" again. So best of luck to us.. Btw, what the kid said was really funny. Had those days too when i looked like the muppet. Lol
scottito
scottito
And just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, it got worse. And just when we think we've hit the bottom of the barrel, we realize we were mistaken only to find ourselves under the barrel. Ironic, you've been pronounced dead by the government several times, but yet here you are with enough life in you to write a post. Do consider calling one of your congressmen or senators about your dilemma. Amazing how a call the Hill inquiring into a matter on behalf of a constituent can get mountains moved in record time. From a faith perspective, I learned a long time ago that somehow, someway, God is able to find a way where there is no way. I've seen the impossible happen many times over in my walk. Ask Him for a heavenly deposit. Sounds like you need it. Take a deep breath and try to remember, the worst thing that ever could have happened to you already did. Nothing life throws at us could ever be worse than the death of the love of your life. And as far as your hair goes, take comfort that you're not invisible, at least to that kid and to all of us. Everything is going to be okay and is going to work itself out in your favor, just you wait and see. Winks and hugs back at ya. ~~~ Scottie
AfterMom
AfterMom
when I was having trouble with social security, I did as a friend recommended and called one of my Representatives. but darned if I can remember which seat of an elected official that was!
It was taking so long (I thought). You may be happy to hear, they back-paid me, starting from the date I APPLIED. Keep copies of everything you do.
The down side is, if you are under 65, uncle sam keeps about 33% of what the husband was getting, and it does not go up to full pay later. In my situation, I could not wait.
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
AfterMom is right, contact your local U.S. Congressman to intervene with Social Security if you feel you are getting the runaround. It is part of what they do and, hey, it's your tax dollars - get something back for them!

As far as temp work, the only agency I had ever had any decent luck with was Kelly. They sent me on 'grunt jobs' at first - stuffing envelopes, inventory - low paying but at least paying something.

I hope something comes through for you quickly.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
Dottk
Dottk
Update: My landlady started a GFM (Go Fund Me) page for me to try to cover my rent. We are trying to send a link to family, friends and anybody interested in sending it on. It has a nice pic of my late husband and his favorite of the furkids on it. We used my avatar name but I realize it makes me more "public" than I would really like to be right now in my pain, but I need the help badly. So far it has $130.00 in it. I called SoSec this morning. They told me that my account is partially fixed "in the back of the house" whatever that means, but that it could take SIX MONTHS to finish clearing it! Seriously? I have another job interview Friday. They definitely want an SS card this time, so I have to go downtown again and see if they will give me one yet, despite the screw up. Hope so. If anybody here would consider giving the GFM a boost via your FB, Twitter, or Snapchat, I think you can shoot me a private message here and I can send you a link. I hope Scottie, or one of the other longhaulers will tell me if this is acceptable or not, but any help would be appreciated, be certain.
AfterMom
AfterMom
I deliberately do not inform any of my Real Life friends, family, (or my FaceBook account) about my DS, and would Never Ever publish my ID here onto a public format which identifies me. Anything that goes online is forever out there.
I have told a couple close friends is that I have found "widow groups" online, and it has helped me.
Here in this WW group, we are sheltered by each other, because we Know that everyone who comes here is "one of us", Not tourists.
FaceBook's purpose is to "network" connections. It is not a support group model, like DS is.
There are valid reasons that Community Leaders here recommend against posting "identifying" information here. I would recommend discussing with a CL about a GFM account linking to your DS avatar name.
I will never link to a GFM page from DS, due to privacy issues.
All my best to you.
Savannah17
Savannah17
When it rains, it pours. Since my husband died in September, I've also been "beset" by other issues. Had two surgeries over the spring, then found out a family member has cancer. Every new "event" feels like a blow, hard to recover. I am still trying to recover from the trauma of the car accident and death of my husband and pets. All we can do is keep going.
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