Unfortunately, we never run out of tears ...Yes, every time I have to fill out papers like that. I don't now what to put, and it tears my heart out. I am sorry. For 49 years I was "married"... 9 months widowed. But never single.

Hang in there, you will make it, somehow..... Sandee

I find it hard to write widowed. I still wear my wedding ring and another ring my husband surprised me with. I doubt I will ever take them off. I have known him since I was 14, and married for 37 yrs. He was my best friend, we did everything together and had two beautiful children. I too, wonder when it stops hurting so bad, it's been almost 4 months. I just put one foot in front of the other, and go on. Sometimes I wonder how I make it through the day. My dog helps!

Filling out forms sucks - no argument there. And of course next year we will have to file tax returns and go through this again.

But technically we are single again. You can choose to look at it as something like "you are right handed", or "you have green eyes" instead of a denial of your relationship with your loved one.

That is what I have done, and that box does not bother me anymore.

For a while it really bothered me. I am a little better now about it. The one I have yet to change is my w-2 form. I keep putting it off. Just does not seem normal to check that box. Especially when this is not something we do everyday.

[[[HUGS]]]
Yes, we do run out of tears ...
Its takes alot of time & work to get them all out ...

Regarding taxes ...
Please contact the IRS or a Tax Consultant for more information ...
Two Year Rule for Qualifying Widow/Widower Status ...

A surviving spouse may be eligible for the Qualifying Widow/Widower status for the two years following the year in which his or her spouse died. For the tax year 2012, for example, the surviving spouse may be eligible if his or her spouse died in either 2011 or 2010. After two years, the surviving spouse would not longer be eligible as Qualifying Widow/Widower, and would need to choose another filing status.

The criteria for being eligible for this filing status:

The taxpayer was eligible to file a joint return with his or her spouse for the year during which the spouse died, whether or not a joint return was filed.
The taxpayer's spouse died during either of the two immediately preceding tax years.
The taxpayer has not remarried during the tax year.
The taxpayer maintains a home for at least one dependent who is a son, daughter, stepson or stepdaughter, whether related by blood or adoption. This dependent resides with the taxpayer for the entire tax year except for temporary absences.

Yikes, I can't wrap my head around checking single on an insurance form, I certainly am not going to be able to wrap my head around taxes. Oh my goodness... I like the idea of looking at it with the as a matter of fact attitude asarivg12. I am left handed and I have brown eyes and I am officially single ok I got it. Thanks everyone for all your supportive comments and suggestions. I have made it past the one month marker. This month was a long one every minute like a year, makes me kind of wonder why couldn't our life together have been like that. A year for every minute...

Hi Mary, I am sorry for your loss, and I can identify with what you are experiencing. I went through the same thing at work when I had to change all the beneficiary info from Cliff and our kids to just our kids. I sat down with our pension person and she handed me the forms and the only choices were "single" and "married." I asked, "No widowed??" Nope. The rest of the world lumps you into one category or the other. Oh there was also "divorced" but that's not what happened to us....

I wished there was some other word besides "widow" - somehow that didn't feel like what I was. It bothered me the first few months, it does not bother me now.

You can become dehydrated from all the crying. I sure did. I got severe muscle cramps from being too dehydrated as I cried so much. I kept thinking that it was impossible that a body could hold so many tears in it and that I must have tear ducts of steel by now because I sure gave them a workout! Do try to drink extra water to counteract the dehydration. It really does help.

It will ease up. You're in the very hardest days right now. Bit by bit, you will move forward in "baby steps." It won't always hurt this bad. And, no, you will never forget them. Don't worry about that either. You will get through this, and you won't have to do it alone.

We can discuss things like taxes and such later. For right now, come here as often as you need, and post as much as you need. If you do have specific practical questions, we can help with those, too.

I am sorry for your loss, but glad you found us.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Many forms we have to fill out don't offer the widow option. I had to do this for a new doctor and the choices were single or married. I did check single and was asked if all my kids have the same father. I will never do that again. I think I was judged in the wrong way and wanted to shove my foot down the receptionist's mouth.

Maggie

Yes Mary the paper works really ticks me off to. Up here in Canada a lot of the paper work has sort of a multiple choice section (single, married widowed, divorced, common law, etc.). but some also has only the 2 choices. I did (and started) just about all of the paper work the 2nd week after Deanna died because I needed to get out or go nuts just sitting in the house and staring at the walls. Unfortunately it has to be done but mines not complete yet either because of the tear end tax return. Hang in there Mary it will get done.
Maggie as for you, if somebody was to say that to me ------ well I'd probably wind up in jail, but it would be worth it.

Best Regards, George

its been 3 and a half months. I always write in widowed. I don't like the idea of writing in single. single seems like a choice. I have a 2 yr old and 2 mo old...I am definitely not single, im a widow.

Thanks Dot!!! I had read that somewhere before about qualifying for two years!! I filed joint on my 2012 taxes, but there was also a question that asked if your spouse died. Which I had to check. And I do still have two qualifying children at home, and I definitely have not remarried, so I am planning on filing qualifying widow again. But I probably will have to change it shortly.