Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

shewearsblack17 03/01/2018

I decided to take time off to be sick. I have a cold, and it's cold and rainy out. I was supposed to attend a function tonight, but I just did not have it together, nor had the get up and go to try to go. I doubt that many will even notice my absence, which is fine.

I spent most of my morning on the phone with health insurance companies. I think I have it straightened out, but not sure. I'll make a few more calls in the morning. I am hoping to be able to change doctors as well; it would be so nice if I could. I am sure the diagnosis will be the same; that I am grieving, or have PTSD. I really don't want antidepressants if I can help it.

Does anyone else worry about his or her health after going through extreme trauma - like thinking maybe cancer is contagious, etc.? That type of thing. Or perhaps it's the feeling of leprosy.

I never was allowed to be sick much as an adult. I miss my mom bringing me a tray of food when I was sick as a child. I wish I could go back to those days (except for school). For a little while at least...

nancy6464 03/01/2018

I bottomed out when my wife passed in September. She was my care giver for my PTSD from incestuous childhood trauma. During the last five months, I have lost 40 pounds, and gone from hardly taking an aspirin to being on heavy doses of three meds to control depression, anxiety and my nightmares, and I see a therapist weekly and a shrink every six weeks .

totally sucks doing this by myself now but I will learn to be my own care giver and get back to where I was under my wife's care giving.

I will do it for her~ cause she would want me to be healthy.

nell79 03/01/2018

She, Please don’t rule out taking antidepressants. I was like that when my dr first suggested it but she insisted and it did help take the edge off and help me think more clearly. I don’t think I could function without it now. I’ve had a couple health issues come up that were determined to be stress related. Imagine that!?!?!? And I’m like Ellen in thinking the worst that could happen to me has happened so it doesn’t scare me.

cliffskat 03/02/2018

I hope you feel better, and you can get your insurance situation squared away. It is important to have a doctor you feel comfortable with as well. I had to change doctors after Cliff died. Our family doctor had not helped Cliff, and later I found out that he had not told me what was wrong with Cliff's health. I had no confidence in him anymore, so switched to an OB-GYN that was recommended to me. He was much better, but the experience of sitting in a waiting room surrounded by couples was not great after years of Cliff taking me to my appointments. At least when I had to fill out the registration paperwork, the new doctor's office had a box for "widowed" not just "single" or "married." Who would have thought that such a thing would matter?

As a kid, colds meant chicken soup and lemonade. Or lemon juice in your chicken soup (Greek style). That usually works....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

cliffskat 03/02/2018

P.S. - Antidepressants or anxiety medication need not be a forever thing. Sometimes a short course of medication can help you regain some strength and balance. Counseling and/or therapy are likewise things you don't need to have forever, just in the short term. Hugs....

regwin 03/02/2018

Wishing you a speedy recovery. Be Well Soon!!!!. Many Hugs. Dolores

shewearsblack17 03/02/2018

I think they are going to allow me to go in Friday afternoon. I was informed that my old doctor has left for a different practice, and I now have a female doctor. Maybe that will work better for me till I either move or Medicare kicks in. For now, my bed calleth...

Join the Conversation