Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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karatxmo 04/04/2014

Wednesday night was a nightmare getting my kids to bed...I ended up having to put them in their beds and let them cry while I took a few minutes to breathe in the kitchen. then I woke up at 4am to my 2 year old crying for me. He could hardly breathe and was coughing. He ended up waking up my baby as well. So at 430am I have a crying 2 year old and a baby wanting to play. I finally gave up and went down the hall and woke up my dad who doesn't get home until midnight from work and was also substitute teaching that morning. He took my baby for a few minutes while I calmed down my 2 year old. Then my kids and i all climbed in my bed and went to sleep watching cartoons. Turns out he has croup and I just hate when he is sick. I started crying laying there in bed with them...John was suppose to be here with me to help me with all of this. its so hard having sick kids when you are the only parent and they are so little. I know life isn't fair...but sometimes I get mad that he was able to be there when his other kids were little and once they moved in with their mom they ignored him, but not when ours are and they would just love their dad.... I wouldn't trade meeting him for anything...we met when we were right for each other...and I know part of the reason I fell in love with him was because he was such a great dad. I just really miss him at times like this. we need him.

livingdisengaged 04/04/2014

Wow. I would have cried too. You are so young to have all of the responsibility for two babies. It's a lot to handle losing your husband, let alone caring for young children and working. Glad you have your Dad for some support. Prayers that things will gradually get a bit easier for you and the strength to keep moving forward.

deleted_user 04/04/2014

Having small ones is hard, especially on your own. The two I have left at home are teens, but I can relate. Even though they can do for themselves. They still need mom. I have been overwhelmed with sports. Taxi driver, homework, games and not to mention work. Some days I just want to scream. But then I just ask God to continue to give me the strength I need. Old recipe for croup in the middle of the night is teaspoon lemon juice and teaspoon honey mixed. Helps with the cough.

sandeestttn 04/04/2014

oh, I am so sorry....My first 2 were 13 months apart. the oldest had a lung disease, and stayed sick, and in hospitals. My husband never helped with the kids, in fact he wanted them in bed before he got home from work. I can remember getting my oldest to hospital, carrying both kids, diaper bags, and sitting in the er floor throwing up, while I tried to handle holding him down for shots, breathing treatments, and taking care of the youngest one. then 3 years later I had another one. whew...I don't envy you.

hugs, bless your heart...

sandeestttn 04/04/2014

p.s. I was 16,17 and 20, when my kids were born..

BandiBlue 04/05/2014

Hi, Kara ...
I know you mentioned once before that you might not always be living with your dad. I hope that you are all able to stay together for a while longer. It was good that he was able to help you with your sick son. And yes, I'm sure he was tired going to work the next day, but I'm also sure he realized that it's not something that will happen every night. Also, it's just nice to have another adult to talk to. I live with my brother, and although we sometimes disagree, it's nice to have another person in the house. Hang in there (I know that's a cliche, but it's all I can offer) ... and God bless you and your family.

michaelbmanning 04/05/2014

I hear ya about sick kids. Tons of fun when I have to work the next day.

Maggie

gerald222 04/05/2014

Your right Kara life is not fair sometimes. Wishing you and your kids only the very best. Gerald

deleted_user 04/05/2014

Hi, Karatxmo. Do not feel bad about letting the little ones cry. Sometimes you have to give your self freedom to say I need time out from the children. You also did the right thing to get your dad up to help you. Good for him to help. Co -Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs to have. Binging a single parent is the most difficult job.
I work with single parents every day. I hear stories like yours everyday.
When your children are better give yourself a day to do what you want to do. It does not need to be expensive.
Hugs to you.

LostAndFeelingAlone 04/05/2014

No doubt about it you do have it ruff. IF I had a magic wand, I would wave it and make your life easier. My sympathy to you and your family. I hope things ease up for you. Hugs and prayers.

BandiBlue 04/05/2014

Thinking of you today ... and hoping today is better.

Rosepa 04/05/2014

I too an thinking about you. Hope the kids are feeling better. You will get through this. From your posts, I can tell that you are a great mother to your kids.

Shrn 04/05/2014

Wishing the children a speedy recovery. I remember how hard it is when they are sick even with my husband here. Can't imagine how you do it alone. Sharon

matthew90 04/06/2014

Praying that your little one will feel better soon. It is so hard doing it all without the one you love. You are doing great. Your husband is very proud of you.
Robert

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