I am so sorry you had to come home to such a message. it would be shocking for anyone.

The man was nto thinking when he left the message..and he may have forgotten that your husband had cancer since he had not been in contact in two years.

I would either ignore it and delete it and move on... or write a small note if you have the address and politely let him know that your husband passed away. If you know someone who also knows this person maybe they could let him know. If you are up to it...call and let him know..keep it short and brief..and then let it be.

Or simply block the number and then he can;t bother you again.

sorry to hear this hugs dave

Another case of stupidity or ignorance to leave such a message. So sorry for your pain. Sharon

I have never been more surprised at peoples behaviour since my husband passed. Some can be so kind and sensitive and others can be hurtful and completely uncaring. Some of my closest friends have not called me in months. I really think most of them don't know what to say. Sometimes I feel like they think it's contagious so they stay away in case such misery befalls them.

How awful, He thought he was so slever and flippant. Missing Frank has given good advise, the only thing I could possibly add is perhaps you could get a male member of your family to call him and tell him how much his message had distressed you. I am so very sorry that you have to deal with this uncaring person

Some people just don't have a clue.

Kathleen,

I'm so sorry this happened to you!!! i was reading it, feeling sorry for the man calling not realizing that Joe had passed, but to KNOW he was ill and say that?

there are no words to describe that kind of insiensitivity. whateve you choose to do or not, YOU WILL BE RIGHT.

REALLY SORRY. BIG HUGS and I'd be beyond upset!

Diane

Wow that is awful. I would be devastated if I heard that stupid beyond stupid message. I'm so sorry you had to hear that. I would delete it. Idiot guy.

Have to agree with everyone else. This is not only a stupid thing to say but obviously comes from someone who has lived a life where they have not lost someone close. To me, someone that self-centred would have little conscience. Particularly if he knew your partner have cancer. The laughing part in particular would be very hard to take.

I am sorry you had to experience this. Just after New Years my partner got a couple of texts from friends whom I did not know wishing him all the best for 2012 and one saying "hope 2012 brings you happiness and good health." Because I dont know them they have not known he has passed away. I have not responded to the messages. they kind of stunned me and I had no reply. I feel so sorry my partner did not get to experience 2012.

Sorry that happened. After my John passed, I had someone come up and ask where he was and felt just as bad as I did when I explained John's not being there with me. This has happenend a couple of times where someone did not know of his passing.
I would delete the message so it will not be as upsetting. If he should call back I would inform him of your huabands passing.

Hugs and kleenex
kim

I am guessing the man who called never had it cross his mind that your husband could be gone. Even if he knew he had cancer he probably just remembers him as he was the last time he saw him and if he's never been through losing someone to a terminal illness he didn't give what he said a second thought. He should have yes, and it does come across as insensitive, but I am guessing he wasn't purposfully being insensitive if that makes sense. Some people just don't care, but him trying to call after not seeing your husband for two years says he probably did care about him. He will probably be mortified at his lack of judgement when he finds out or realizes what he has done. I would have been just like you, shaking and in shock after such a message. I would just delete the message and if he calls back let him know--I am guessing he will be apologetic about what he said--but you might take the opportunity to educate him about making statements off the cuff that end up being soooo painful to someone else. He needs to hear it. I'm so sorry--I've had these kind of statements too--they are so hard to deal with.

I think the worst thing about this message was DON't know if you are still alive....I can see someone calling asking for him with the maybe hope he would get message OR you would think a smart fella would say hello to you first...please call me back at this phone number..

Unfortunately people like this never had to deal with this and just do not get it....TOO BAD but I think you should answer him back with what a shock it was to hear that message BECAUSE if we do not educate them who will???

Kathleen, I can just imagine how this made you feel....so thoughtless especially since he knew your husband was ill. I am so sorry...thinking of you and sending you hugs Lu Ann

Sorry you had to come home to that phone message!
One of my Joe's Army buddies left a message on my niece's phone -- I still don't know how this happened! He wanted Joe to call him. She called me and told me about it and we got his number off of her cell.
What is so crazy is that Joe and I had decided that he (the friend) had died or was in jail because we had not heard from him in a couple of years before Joe died. Then, I hear from him through a niece!! This was just last summer. Joe had been gone 3.5 yrs at that time!!
I was rather upset about hearing from him after so long, and then, I had to tell him that Joe had passed away. He took it really hard!! He had to get off the phone, handed it to his wife. Then, he called back later when he was more composed. It was REALLY hard on me!! It had been quite a while since I had to tell anyone of his death. It kind of set me back a few days. So, I kind of understand your reaction.
Bless you. Hugs, Joely